SATURDAY 13 FEBRUARY 2016

SAT 00:00 Wally K Daly (b007nfs5)
625Y
2. Elixir of Life
Scientist Kate Brown's attempt to bring her dramatic new gene discovery into the public domain doesn't go to plan...
Conclusion of Wally K Daly intriguing sci-fi drama.
Kate Brown …. Amanda Root
Professor Slingsby …. Geoffrey Whitehead
Joe Barnard …. Jon Strickland
Reporter …. Elizabeth Conboy
Prime Minister …. Chris Tranchell
Minister of Defence …. Ian Masters
Major Peters …. Brett Usher
Danny Flowers …. Stuart Milligan
Lab Technician …. Harry Myers
Minister of Health …. Sandra Clark
Director: Gordon House.
First broadcast on BBC Radio 4 in January 1999.
SAT 00:30 Soul Music (b0076mh5)
Series 4
Like a Rolling Stone
Bob Dylan's signature tune which became the anthem of a generation and scattered all preconceptions of what a pop 45rpm single could achieve.
Robbie Robertson, Al Kooper, Greil Marcus and Paula Radice muse on a song that threw down a challenge and changed lives.
Featuring:
Bebe Miller
Paula Radice
CP Lee
Michael Gray
Bill McGarvey
Series exploring famous pieces of music and their emotional appeal.
Producer: Lindsay Leonard
First broadcast on BBC Radio 4 in July 2004.
SAT 01:00 John Mortimer - Rumpole (b007jsh4)
The Case of Identity
Rumpole deals with some dubious alibis in court and in chambers.
"The Splendours And Miseries Of An Old Bailey Hack". Starring Maurice Denham as ageing London barrister-at-law Horace Rumpole.
With Robert Harris as Mr Justice Vosper, Michael Spice as Guthrie Featherstone, Brian Carroll as Erskine-Brown and Amanda Murray as Phillida Trant.
Originally a TV series created by writer and barrister John Mortimer, Rumpole hit the BBC radio airwaves in 1980. Case-by-case, Rumpole recalls his work at the Central Criminal Court of England and Wales.
Director: Peter King
First broadcast on BBC Radio 4 in 1980.
SAT 01:30 In Search of My Lizard Brain (b00rtdps)
At the 3rd annual London Fifty at Hoxton Hall in Shoreditch in January 2010, ventriloquist Nina Conti left Monkey behind and watched 50 hours of improvisation, directed by Dana Anderson, Canadian creator of the Improvathon (or Soapathon) and Adam Meggido, of the innovative London theatre, The Sticking Place.
It was Ken Campbell who first brought the idea of the Improvathon - a marathon of improvised drama and comedy - to Britain from Canada, where he'd been inspired by Dana Anderson and his Die-Nasty company at Edmonton's Varscona Theatre.
25 actors gathered for the 6pm start on Friday, and most of them were still there when it ended at 9pm on Sunday. So was the audience, though there were some thin periods in the early hours of the morning. The theme was loosely Victorian and on stage at various times were Queen Victoria and Prince Albert, Charles Dickens, Oscar Wilde, Jane Austen and many made up characters.
Once the actors have been improvising for 30 hours they experience what Dana calls 'Stargate' and find themselves 'being' rather than acting. They no longer have to think about what to do or say on stage - it just happens. They define this as being in touch with their 'lizard' or instinctual brain.
Nina asked Dr Mark Lythgoe, Director of the Centre for Advanced Biomedical Imaging at University College London to account for this; he puts it down to a combination of sleep deprivation and creative high, which leads to disinhibition.
For actors and audience the Improvathon proved an extraordinary and compelling experience. Nina was most struck by the sense of community and support it engendered, as the actors pulled together to keep each other going and, by saying 'yes' to every new idea, took themselves and the production to new levels.
Producer: Marya Burgess
SAT 02:00 Tea Obreht - The Tiger's Wife (b0100jhd)
Episode 10
Hattie Morahan reads Tea Obreht's evocative debut novel set in a Balkan country scarred by war, and where Natalia, a young doctor, is struggling to understand the mysterious circumstances of her grandfather's death. A tattered copy of The Jungle Book which her grandfather kept with him always provides an unlikely clue, sending her on a quest that leads to the extraordinary stories of an immortal man and the tiger's wife. Today, Natalia makes connections between her father's childhood, the tiger's wife and the deathless man.
Tea Obreht is on "The New Yorker's Top Writers under 40 Fiction Issue" (June 2010), and at 24 was the youngest on the list. 'The Tiger's Wife' is one of the Waterstone's 11 - the best debuts that they have picked for 2011. Her short story, "The Sentry", appeared in the "Guardian Summer Fiction Issue", alongside stories by Hilary Mantel and David Mitchell.
She was born in 1985 in the former Yugoslavia, and raised in Belgrade, where she spent her childhood. In 1992, her family immigrated, and in 1997 eventually settled in the United States.
The reader is Hattie Morahan. Abridged by Sally Marmion and produced by Elizabeth Allard.
SAT 02:15 Incarnations: India in 50 Lives (b05wz0kt)
Nainsukh: Owner Transfixed by Goose
Prof. Sunil Khilnani profiles Nainsukh, the 18th century artist whose intimate and engaging portraits of a prince's life created a new vision for Indian art.
In his paintings of his patron, Balwant Singh, Nainsukh departed from the rigid formality of traditional Indian painting. Instead he showed the prince in his most unguarded moments: having his beard trimmed by a barber, being mimicked by a performer, huddled ill and depressed under a bulky quilt, and writing a letter bare-chested in his tent. "It's an almost modern, instagram-esque familiarity" says Sunil Khilnani.
The artist Howard Hodgkin, an appreciator and collector of Nainsukh's work, describes Nainsukh as "the first great modern artist of India". In his favourite painting, Balwant Singh and his pet goose stare at each other, both bird and prince transfixed.
Prof. Khilnani tells the story of two men: one a painter with a unique talent to express humanity and individuality, warmth and humour; the other a prince who unreservedly, unselfconsciously gave himself to the artist as subject.
Producer: Jeremy Grange
Executive Producer: Martin Smith.
SAT 02:30 15 Minute Drama (b009j9jk)
Colette - Cheri
Episode 5
Colette's tale of a love affair between a Parisian courtesan and a man half her age, set in Paris before WWI.
5/5. Cheri has returned to Lea, but can their love affair survive?
Narrator ...... Lindsay Duncan
Cheri ...... Joseph Millson
Lea ...... Frances Barber
Directed by Pauline Harris.
SAT 02:45 Book of the Week (b042bjzl)
Richard Benson - The Valley
Episode 5
Abridged from Richard Benson's epic family saga The Valley, the focus of this Book of the Week is on the story of the author's grandmother - Winnie Hollingworth (1909 - 2002) - and her life in the mining villages of the Dearne Valley in South Yorkshire.
This remarkable social history draws on years of research, interviews and anecdote which chart generations of carousing and banter, tears and fights all set against the background of a close-knit community where almost everybody worked either in the mines or the mills.
Richard Benson's first book, THE FARM which related the story of his own parents and brother and their livelihood in the Yorkshire Wolds was described as ' an extraordinary mixture of hardness and tenderness, wit and slog.. wonderful ' Ronald Blythe author of Akenfield. It went on to be a no.1 bestseller.
This new book is a powerful and moving achievement - it follows Winnie from her first romantic encounter: 'her heart beating hard and fast down in her whalebone and elastic' to her final years sitting in the lounge of a long rubber-tiled room with high-backed chairs around the walls.. ' where 'the residents either roost mutely or chat while their eyes search the room for a younger person who might play the piano for them.'
Ep 5. Children become adults, and Winnie and Harry grow frail, but there are still surprises in store.
Read by Richard Stacey
PRODUCER: JILL WATERS
Abridged and directed by Jill Waters
A Waters Company production for BBC 4Extra.
SAT 03:00 David Wade - Alexander (b00cfwr8)
The Hunt of the God King
Alexander pursues Darius, conquers Egypt and falls in love with Barsine.
Michael Maloney and Alex Jennings star in David Wade's serial on the life of Alexander the Great.
Alexander ...... Michael Maloney
Hephaistion ...... Alex Jennings
Achilles ...... Barry Foster
Patroclus ...... Simon Ward
Ptolemy ...... Julian Rhind-Tutt
Philotas ...... Michael Onslow
Perdikkas ...... Mark Straker
Simmias ...... John Evitts
Philip ...... Sean Barrett
Lysimachos ...... Keith Drinkel
Eumenes ...... James Telfer
Artzbazus ...... Philip Anthony
Barsine ...... Teresa Gallagher
Sisygambis ...... Diana Payan
Thais ...... Rachel Atkins
The Eunuch ...... Richard Pearce
Music: Wilfredo Acosta
Director: Glyn Dearman
First broadcast on BBC Radio 4 in August 1993.
SAT 04:00 Wildbrain (b00753sd)
1997 - Heat 1
4 Extra Debut. Lionel Kelleway visits Essex, to chair the BBC Natural History Unit's quiz in which contestants test their wildlife knowledge.
SAT 04:30 Albert and Me (b049f20x)
Series 2
File Under Trouble
Single dad Bryan takes a temporary admin job and chases a missing file.
Stars Robert Lindsay and Pat Coombs.
The struggles of single parent Bryan Archer to find work while raising his baby son, Albert.
Bryan Archer …. Robert Lindsay
Mum/Albert ...... Pat Coombs
Mrs Willis …. Diana King
Vera …. Marica Warren
Edward …. Gorden Kaye
Mr Charlesworth …. Bernard Gallagher
Mrs Charlesworth …. Lynda Baron
Sandra and Doreen …. Wendy Murray
Written by Jim Eldridge.
Incidental music by Max Harris.
Producer: John Fawcett Wilson
First broadcast on BBC Radio 2 in April 1983.
SAT 05:00 Dry Slopes (b0075178)
Series 2
Emma
Does the fact that Emma is married, has a son and is moving to Mauritius mean that she's no longer interested in Angus - or is she just playing hard to get?
It would be a lot easier to dine out if he could talk to her instead of her answer machine, even though it is a good Listener.
Written by and starring Nick Ball.
Angus ...... Nick Ball
Mum ...... Mum
With Robert Hartley, Wayne Forester and Julie Gibbs.
Producer: Gareth Edwards
First broadcast on BBC Radio 4 in July 1997.
SAT 05:30 So Wrong It's Right (b01jrjq8)
Series 3
Episode 5
Charlie Brooker hosts the comedy show that seeks the finest wrong answers, with guest comics Susan Calman and Miles Jupp plus writer Shaun Pye on the panel.
So Wrong It's Right sees Charlie ask his guests to pitch their finest terrible ideas and to disclose the most shameful, yet entertaining, stories from their lives.
In this episode, Charlie challenges his guests to recall the stupidest thing they've ever believed and to suggest the best ideas for the worst new sport for the London 2012 Olympics.
The host of So Wrong It's Right, Charlie Brooker, also presents BBC4s acclaimed Newswipe and Screenwipe series, and is an award winning columnist for The Guardian. He also won Best Newcomer at the British Comedy Awards 2009.
Produced by Aled Evans
A Zeppotron Production for BBC Radio 4.
SAT 06:00 Hood (b070n8g7)
Noble Secrets
England, 1201: King John reigns and Phillip De Nicholay, Sheriff of Nottingham, is in trouble. The treasury is empty, looted by his former friend; his position and hopes of marrying the Lady Marion are in danger. His only hope is to recover the money. To do that though, he'll need the help of the notorious outlaws of Sherwood Forest. Phillip is about to learn that his actions will be the making of the man they will come to call Robin Hood.
Stars Lee Ingleby as Philip De Nicholay, Peter Greenall as Little John, Damian Cooper as Will Scarlet and Sean Connolly as Brother Tuck.
Director: Iain Meadows.
Produced by Iain Meadows and Matt Hopper for Spiteful Puppet Entertainment.
SAT 07:15 The Meaning of Trees (b071k9ts)
4 Extra Debut. Quintessentially British, symbolising strength? Yet its existence is threatened. With Fiona Stafford. From December 2012.
SAT 07:30 Tony Hawks's Guide to the Guides (b0075vsz)
Ghost Guides
Comedian and writer Tony Hawks tests the guide books that claim to help us navigate our way around our holidays.
Testing the plethora of reference books to the limit, Tony is out to see if they can really help him find a ghost.
Producer: Lucy Willmore
First broadcast on BBC Radio 4 in 2000.
SAT 08:00 Archive on 4 (b036j3r0)
Churchill's Secret Cabinet
Clement Attlee once claimed that Churchill led Britain to victory in the Second World War through his words. But what influenced these words and their delivery?
The answer lies in a wooden cabinet containing not only Churchill's private collection of gramophone records, but also rare recordings of his unknown speeches.
In this Archive on 4, historian Andrew Roberts joins archivists, historians, musicians, even Churchill's own family, to discover how these rapidly disintegrating discs - some of them over a hundred years old - offer new clues about his oratorical style. Their survival depends on the fast action of the Cambridge archivists in a race against time to digitise them, before they quite literally turn to dust.
The work has turned up some surprising revelations - including a glimpse into Churchill's very own desert island discs. The apparently unmusical Churchill turns out to be someone who treasures songs of satire, humour and intense patriotism. We discover recordings of black swans enjoyed by a nature loving Churchill we rarely see, and then there are those fascinating newly discovered recordings of Churchill's own voice - including the first known recording of him, from the early 20th century.
From these records, Andrew Roberts gleans valuable insights into that famous titan of British oratory - how it was not just his words, but his unique musical delivery that came to reflect and even embody the hopes of a nation.
Producer: Kati Whitaker.
A Juniper production for BBC Radio 4.
SAT 09:00 Comedy Greats (b01kjsg3)
Overseas
Captain Barry Cryer welcomes you aboard a special edition of Comedy Greats showcasing a selection of the BBC's hit comedy shows that were adapted for listeners overseas.
During the 1950s to 1970s, a surprising number of series were either edited, rescripted or remade.
Barry reveals bits that never made it out of Blighty to enable shows to be better understood abroad.
* The Clitheroe Kid - Another Mother for Ossie. From November 1965
* The Navy Lark - Going Dutch. From November 1959
* The Men From the Ministry - Birds of a Feather. Re-recording from 1980.
* Hancock's Half Hour - The New Secretary. Re-recorded in November 1958.
* Round the Horne - The Man With the Golden Thunderball. Re-recorded July 1966 with an edited version of the original script.
* I'm Sorry, I'll Read That Again - series 3 (10/13). Re-recording from 1966.
Producer: Kerry Reece
Made for BBC Radio 4 Extra and first broadcast in July 2012. .
SAT 12:00 PG Wodehouse (b00b41fq)
What Ho! Jeeves: Joy in the Morning
Florence Craye
Trapped in the Hampshire hamlet of Steeple Bumpleigh, Bertie Wooster meets an old flame.
PG Wodehouse's romp starring Michael Hordern and Richard Briers.
Adapted in seven-parts by Chris Miller.
Jeeves ...... Michael Hordern
Bertie Wooster ..... Richard Briers
Florence Craye ..... Bronwen Williams
Stilton Cheesewright ..... Michael Kilgarriff
Salesman ..... Bruce Bennett
Producer: Simon Brett
First broadcast on BBC Radio 4 in July 1978.
SAT 12:30 A Short Gentleman (b018xt55)
Episode 1
Robert sails through all his exams, but finding a girlfriend is more testing.
Hugh Bonneville stars as Robert Purcell, QC, a perfect specimen of the British Establishment, who applies faultless legal logic to his disastrous personal life.
Jon Canter's comic novel adapted by Robin Brooks.
Father ...... James Hayes
Mother ...... Nichola McAuliffe
Young Robert ...... Josef Lindsay
Pilkington ...... Ewan Bailey
Ticky Moxon-Smith ...... Katherine Jakeways
Judy Page ...... Tracy Wiles
Alan Temperley ...... Gerard McDermott
'Brilliant, but for God's sake don't let this book fall into the hands of any women - if they find out what we're really like we'll never hear the end of it.' Charlie Higson
'A witty, accomplished, and highly entertaining warning about the folly of ambition.' Mail on Sunday
'Elegantly written, civilised and genuinely funny.' The Scotsman
'Robert is infectious. You might just catch yourself bringing his loathsome logic to your own domestic dilemmas.' Time Out.
Jon Canter read Law at Cambridge, where he was President of Footlights, then worked as an advertising copywriter before becoming a radio and TV scriptwriter. His comic novels include Seeds of Greatness, A Short Gentleman and Worth.
Director: Jonquil Painting.
First broadcast on BBC Radio 4 in From January 2012.
SAT 13:00 Halfway Here: Omnibus (b070npz3)
Episode 1
A family bumble along in a normally dysfunctional way until an accident causes them each to unravel. Starring Tyger Drew-Honey.
SAT 14:10 Inheritance Tracks (b070nqwv)
Bruce Forsyth
Entertainer Bruce Forsyth chooses 'When You Wish Upon a Star' by Jiminy Cricket and 'New York, New York' by Liza Minnelli.
SAT 14:15 Drama (b0499n6h)
Daniel Glattauer - Love Virtually
Starring David Tennant and Emilia Fox, Love Virtually by Austrian novelist Daniel Glattauer is a thoroughly modern epistolary novel with one difference - its protagonists Emmi Rothner and Leo Leike communicate exclusively by email.
The European answer to You've got Mail.
Two million copies sold in Germany to date. And bought by thirty-five publishers around the world, Love Virtually by Austrian novelist Daniel Glattauer, is well on the way to becoming a global publishing phenomenon.
They "meet" when Emmi mistakenly sends an e-mail to Leo's inbox. A romance ensues that allows them to live out a shared secret life far removed from their day-to-day existences. But to what extent does it rely on fantasy and escapism, and will it survive a real-life meeting?
The problem is...Emmi (a modern Madame Bovary) is married....
Have email, Facebook, texting and the like created a generation of isolated young people who prefer to communicate remotely - who may be in fact afraid to engage in face to face contact to find love? Is it possible to fall in love with someone you've never met? Does a virtual affair 'count' as adultery? What are the implications of the fact that we can pretend to be anyone in cyberspace?
Adapted by Eileen Horne.
Produced by Clive Brill
A Pacificus Production for BBC Radio 4.
SAT 15:00 Archive on 4 (b036j3r0)
[Repeat of broadcast at 08:00 today]
SAT 16:00 Hood (b070n8g7)
[Repeat of broadcast at 06:00 today]
SAT 17:15 The Meaning of Trees (b071k9ts)
[Repeat of broadcast at 07:15 today]
SAT 17:30 Tony Hawks's Guide to the Guides (b0075vsz)
[Repeat of broadcast at 07:30 today]
SAT 18:00 Planet B (b00yqqs6)
Series 3
Disaster!
In the last hours of Planet B, what is better than a farewell party? Virtual reality saga by Matthew Wilkie. Stars Lloyd Thomas.
SAT 18:30 Ghost Zone (b007jx3m)
Episode 4
The purpose of the alien's presence in Inchbrae is revealed after Jill and Beth witness more moments from the past.
Sci-fi thriller written by Marty Ross.
Stars Simon Tait as Dan Collins, Gayanne Potter as Jill Logan, Joanna Tope as Dr Beth Granger, Lesley Hart as Heather Logan, John Paul Hurley as Dominic Clayton, Finlay McLean as Reverend Thornley, Sandy Neilson as Captain Cairns/Minister/Tannoy and Stevie Hannan as Lt Hopridge.
Producer: Bruce Young
Made for BBC 7 by BBC Scotland and first broadcast in 2004.
SAT 19:00 Comedy Greats (b01kjsg3)
[Repeat of broadcast at 09:00 today]
SAT 22:00 Richard Herring's Objective (b0174gl1)
Series 2
The Wheelchair
'The Wheelchair' is the representative symbol of disability on access signs.
In his series on objects, Richard asks whether there is equal access?
He wonders if it is still the case that we see the disability rather than the person?
With Emma Kennedy.
Special guest: Francesca Martinez.
Producer: Tilusha Ghelani
First broadcast on BBC Radio 4 in November 2011.
SAT 22:30 Alun Cochrane's Fun House (b01rr555)
Living Room
Comedian Alun Cochrane has a 25 year mortgage which he can only pay off by being funny. In this series he takes us on a room by room, stand up tour of his house.
He has a fridge that beeps at him when he doesn't move quickly enough and a fire alarm he can't reach. His relationship with his house is a complicated one.
A hoarder of funny and original observations on everyday life, Alun invites us to help him de-clutter his mind and tidy his ideas into one of those bags that you hoover all the air out of and keep under your bed. This show will help Alun and his house work through their relationship issues and prevent a separation that Alun can ill afford; at least not until the market picks up anyway.
Performers: Alun Cochrane and Gavin Osborn
Writers: Alun Cochrane and Andy Wolton
Producer: Carl Cooper.
First broadcast on BBC Radio 4 in April 2013.
SAT 22:55 The Comedy Club Interviews (b071xmy0)
The best in contemporary comedy. Tonight, Arthur Smith is joined by Shazia Mirza.
SAT 23:00 Pleased to Meet You (b007k2t5)
Series 1
Episode 2
90-something good-time girl Dora Dale spills the beans on her many celebrity friends – from Elvis to Jimmy Carr.
Betraying confidences and breaking unwritten rules galore, the friend of the stars reveals some surprising and salacious secrets.
Written by and starring Martin Kelner and Jake Yapp.
Made for BBC7 and first broadcast in August 2006.
SAT 23:30 The Big Booth (b007jrvv)
Series 2: The Big Booth Too
Episode 5
Boothby's script dictatorship is overthrown by the Workers' Collective.
More guitar-flavoured songs and surreal laughs from Boothby Graffoe.
With Stephen Frost , Kevin Eldon, Vivienne Soan, Big Al and Antonio Forcione.
Written by Boothby Graffoe and Dave Thompson.
Producer: Lucy Armitage
First broadcast on BBC Radio 4 in February 2001.


SUNDAY 14 FEBRUARY 2016

SUN 00:00 Planet B (b00yqqs6)
[Repeat of broadcast at 18:00 on Saturday]
SUN 00:30 Ghost Zone (b007jx3m)
[Repeat of broadcast at 18:30 on Saturday]
SUN 01:00 Halfway Here: Omnibus (b070npz3)
[Repeat of broadcast at 13:00 on Saturday]
SUN 02:10 Inheritance Tracks (b070nqwv)
[Repeat of broadcast at 14:10 on Saturday]
SUN 02:15 Drama (b0499n6h)
[Repeat of broadcast at 14:15 on Saturday]
SUN 03:00 Archive on 4 (b036j3r0)
[Repeat of broadcast at 08:00 on Saturday]
SUN 04:00 Hood (b070n8g7)
[Repeat of broadcast at 06:00 on Saturday]
SUN 05:15 The Meaning of Trees (b071k9ts)
[Repeat of broadcast at 07:15 on Saturday]
SUN 05:30 Tony Hawks's Guide to the Guides (b0075vsz)
[Repeat of broadcast at 07:30 on Saturday]
SUN 06:00 Colette - Cheri (b070p5p1)
Omnibus. Colette's tale of a love affair between a Parisian courtesan and a man half her age, set in Paris, 1912. Stars Frances Barber.
SUN 07:15 Clive Dunn - Definitely Dunn (b070p6c6)
Flat Feet and Concert Parties
Don't panic! Memories of Dad's Army star Clive Dunn, who played Lance-Corporal Jack Jones for nearly a decade on TV, radio and film between 1968 to 1977.
Recalling highlights from his first 50 years in entertainment, Clive recalls life at boarding school, joining the army and his early stage appearances.
Clive was aged 68 at the time of recording. He died in Portugal in 2012, aged 92.
Producer: Edward Taylor
First broadcast on BBC Radio 2 in 1988.
SUN 07:30 Life: An Idiot's Guide (b01qkmpl)
Series 2
Midlife Crisis
Stephen K Amos and comedian guests Fred MacAulay, Angela Barnes and Greg Proops compile an Idiot's Guide to having your midlife crisis.
SUN 08:00 Jim the Great (b0334t0v)
Series 2
Here Comes the Hun
The moustachioed monarch raises an army to take on Attila and his approaching horde. Stars Jimmy Edwards. From September 1979.
SUN 08:30 Lines From My Grandfather's Forehead (b00hmb64)
Episode 3
Mystery in a spoof of smooth sleuth Paul Temple - and wires get crossed on the telephone.
A sequential entertainment for radio starring Ronnie Barker.
With Terence Brady, Pauline Yates and Ann Beach. Pianist: Gordon Langford.
Written by Arnold Brown, Donald Churchill, Peter Spence, Don Currell and Andy Kelvin, John Graham, Charles Griffin, JG Sacks, Myles Rudge and Ted Dicks, and Gerald Wiley.
Producer John Fawcett-Wilson
First broadcast on BBC Radio 4 in July 1972.
SUN 09:00 Ben Rawlence - City of Thorns: Omnibus (b070pb48)
In the desert, near the Somali border where only thorn bushes grow, is a city of half a million people. Read by David Seddon.
SUN 10:10 Inheritance Tracks (b070pb4b)
Judy Finnigan
The television presenter Judy Finnigan chooses 'Who's Sorry Now' by Connie Francis, and 'Hey Jude', by The Beatles.
SUN 10:15 Desert Island Discs Revisited (b070pb4d)
Space
Monica Grady
From Brahms to Ultravox. Space scientist Professor Monica Grady shares her castaway choices with Kirsty Young. From July 2015.
SUN 11:00 In Pod We Trust (b06p46bp)
Stories from the Heart
Miranda Sawyer continues her exploration into the world of podcasts by rounding up some of the best from around the globe.
This week's programme features personal storytelling concerning issues which some of us find it hard to talk about: love, sex, family and money. Matters of the heart.
Guests include Anna Sale, creator and host of New York-based podcast, "Death, Sex and Money", and Lea Thau, who documented her own love life in a series for Los Angeles-based Strangers podcast "Love Hurts".
Producer: Jim Frank
Researcher: Chris Pearson.
SUN 11:30 Short Cuts (b01mqpgf)
Series 2
Faking It
Nina Garthwaite presents a showcase for delightful and adventurous short documentaries. A selection of brief encounters, true stories, radio adventures and found sound.
In 'Faking It', she blurs the line between fact and fiction with tales of love, lying and a loose grip on reality.
The indie pop duo Summer Camp construct a 'documentary song' which delves into the falsity of flirting and those moments when we realise we've really fallen in love and the actor Jonathan Keeble reveals his real - or is it his false - identity ...
Nina also learns how you successfully conceal your true self in the workplace, why you shouldn't trust your new boyfriend's grandmother and the dangers of picking a fight with a Ouija board.
Produced by Eleanor McDowall
A Falling Tree Production for BBC Radio 4
The items featured in this programme were:
Translations
Featuring Jonathan Keeble
The Disguise
Produced by Leo Hornak
All There Is
Composed by Summer Camp
The Chamuyero
Produced by Barney Rowntree
Fact and Fiction
Featuring Jonathan Keeble
The Séance
Produced by Bob Carlson.
SUN 12:00 Jim the Great (b0334t0v)
[Repeat of broadcast at 08:00 today]
SUN 12:30 Lines From My Grandfather's Forehead (b00hmb64)
[Repeat of broadcast at 08:30 today]
SUN 13:00 Colette - Cheri (b070p5p1)
[Repeat of broadcast at 06:00 today]
SUN 14:15 Clive Dunn - Definitely Dunn (b070p6c6)
[Repeat of broadcast at 07:15 today]
SUN 14:30 Book at Bedtime (b070pcsn)
Virginia Woolf - Orlando (Omnibus)
Episode 2
Orlando, the Tudor time-travelling adventurer, is preoccupied by the penalties and privileges of womanhood. Read by Amanda Hale.
SUN 15:45 Maeve Binchy - Needy (b070pd53)
Heather learns that all Valentine's Day declarations of love should be viewed with suspicion. Read by Patricia Hodge. From February 1997.
SUN 16:00 Gaston Leroux - The Mystery of the Yellow Room (b01gyl0j)
The door was bolted and the windows barred, so how was Mlle Sangerson shot at, knocked unconscious, and left for dead?
Gaston Leroux's classic 'locked room' mystery, dramatised by Stephen Sheridan.
Joseph Rouletabille …. Nicholas Boulton
Inspector Frédéric Larsan …. Geoffrey Whitehead
Mathilde Stangerson …. Becky Hindley
Jean Sainclair …. Charles Simpson
Robert Darzac …. Alastair Danson
With Hugh Dickson, Stephen Thorne and Brian Parr.
Director: David Blount
First broadcast on BBC Radio 4 in June 1998
SUN 17:00 Poetry Extra (b0075ldx)
With Great Pleasure - Les Murray
BBC Radio 4's Poet in Residence, Daljit Nagra revisits the BBC's radio poetry archive.
In 'With Great Pleasure', Les Murray talks through a selection of his favourite poems and stories. Expect moon landings, U-boats, vespers songs and Doublemen in a beautiful and eclectic selection read by Sean Barrett and Sally Cookson.
Producer: Sara Davies
First broadcast on BBC Radio 4 in 1999.
SUN 17:30 Life: An Idiot's Guide (b01qkmpl)
[Repeat of broadcast at 07:30 today]
SUN 18:00 Robert Westall - The Wheatstone Pond (b00768rk)
Once an Edwardian boating haven, the Wheatstone Pond has acquired a dark and chilling atmosphere – with a vile odour hanging around its waters.
After a tragic suicide, the pond is drained and some rather unusual artefacts begin to emerge...
Robert Westall’s deadly occult mystery dramatised by Martyn Read.
CAST:
Jeff Morgan …. John Duttine
Hermione …. Teresa Gallagher
James …. John Webb
DI Crittenden …. Ian Brooker
Mr Makepiece/Mr Maidment …. Christopher Scott
Mossy …. Peter Meakin
Rose …. Lorna Laidlaw
The Children …. Jack Halsey and Richard Ganjavi
Directed at BBC Birmingham by Rosemary Watts.
First broadcast on BBC Radio 4 in 2004.
SUN 19:00 In Pod We Trust (b06p46bp)
[Repeat of broadcast at 11:00 today]
SUN 19:30 Short Cuts (b01mqpgf)
[Repeat of broadcast at 11:30 today]
SUN 20:00 Ben Rawlence - City of Thorns: Omnibus (b070pb48)
[Repeat of broadcast at 09:00 today]
SUN 21:10 Inheritance Tracks (b070pb4b)
[Repeat of broadcast at 10:10 today]
SUN 21:15 Desert Island Discs Revisited (b070pb4d)
[Repeat of broadcast at 10:15 today]
SUN 22:00 Life: An Idiot's Guide (b01qkmpl)
[Repeat of broadcast at 07:30 today]
SUN 22:30 Thom Tuck Goes Straight to DVD (b01bwp8v)
Pilot
Thom Tuck recounts heart-rending tales of love and loss, laying bare all the failures he's suffered in his relationships and drawing comparisons with the 54 straight-to-DVD Disney movies he's watched, so we don't have to. These underrated gems - perhaps rightfully ignored and forgotten - mirror his experiences with women he has loved too often and too soon.
A show with a huge heart, all about heartbreak in various forms...the perfect antidote for Valentines Day.
Thom Tuck's brilliant debut solo show was nominated for Best Newcomer at the Fosters Comedy Awards in Edinburgh 2011. He is also part of acclaimed sketch group "The Penny Dreadfuls".
"...a seductive experience" The Guardian
Produced by Lianne Coop.
SUN 23:00 Newsjack (b07052l1)
Series 14
Episode 1
This week's stories lovingly bashed, mashed and moulded into sketches, one-liners and vox-pops written by the public. Trying to make sense of it all is our host, Nish Kumar.

This week Nish is joined by Celeste Dring, Jess Ransom and Mike Wozniak.

Newsjack was script edited by Grainne Maguire and Liam Beirne. The producers were Matt Stronge and Suzy Grant.

It was a BBC Radio Comedy Production.
SUN 23:30 The Nick Revell Show (b00ckmj4)
Series 2
Visitors
When Nick's teenage niece and his oldest wild rock n roller friend both come to stay, Nick finds himself a surrogate parent, but for whom?
A sitcom for the 1990s, written by and starring comedian Nick Revell.
With:
Alistair McGowan
Doon MacKichan
Brian Bowles
Mickey Hutton
Susannah Doyle
Producer: Ioan Magnusson
First broadcast on BBC Radio 4 in June 1993.


MONDAY 15 FEBRUARY 2016

MON 00:00 Robert Westall - The Wheatstone Pond (b00768rk)
[Repeat of broadcast at 18:00 on Sunday]
MON 01:00 Colette - Cheri (b070p5p1)
[Repeat of broadcast at 06:00 on Sunday]
MON 02:15 Clive Dunn - Definitely Dunn (b070p6c6)
[Repeat of broadcast at 07:15 on Sunday]
MON 02:30 Book at Bedtime (b070pcsn)
[Repeat of broadcast at 14:30 on Sunday]
MON 03:45 Maeve Binchy - Needy (b070pd53)
[Repeat of broadcast at 15:45 on Sunday]
MON 04:00 Gaston Leroux - The Mystery of the Yellow Room (b01gyl0j)
[Repeat of broadcast at 16:00 on Sunday]
MON 05:00 Poetry Extra (b0075ldx)
[Repeat of broadcast at 17:00 on Sunday]
MON 05:30 Life: An Idiot's Guide (b01qkmpl)
[Repeat of broadcast at 07:30 on Sunday]
MON 06:00 John Mortimer - Rumpole (b007jshh)
The Expert Witness
Rumpole recalls the case of a GP accused of killing his wife.
"The Splendours And Miseries Of An Old Bailey Hack". Starring Maurice Denham as ageing London barrister-at-law Horace Rumpole and Margot Boyd as Hilda Rumpole
With Derek Farr as Mr Justice Skelton and Ellis Dale as Owen Munroe,
Originally a TV series created by writer and barrister John Mortimer, Rumpole hit the BBC radio airwaves in 1980. Case-by-case, Rumpole recalls his work at the Central Criminal Court of England and Wales.
Director: Peter King
First broadcast on BBC Radio 4 in 1980.
MON 06:30 Star Spangled Hendrix (b00tg2m0)
When Jimi Hendrix returned to his native America as a star, the country he knew had changed. This programme, presented by Tom Robinson to tie in with the 40th anniversary of the guitarist's death, explores the pressure Jimi was under to make an explicit political declaration.
Tom explores Hendrix's 14 months in the Screaming Eagles 101 Airborne Division that saw him parachute a total of 26 times before he was invalided out with a broken ankle. Brother Leon Hendrix discusses his elder bother's time in the military, along with comments from author Charles Sharr Murray.
Singer and friend Eric Burdon explains how, after the riots in Grosvenor Square, Jimi trotted out the American government's party line on Vietnam - the so-called "Domino Theory".
The Soft Machine supported Hendrix as they travelled across America and drummer Robert Wyatt recalls how Jimi responded to media questions about the war, and the emergence of the Black Power movement. Hendrix was receptive to the Black Panther Party and found the Seattle Chapter of the organisation run by two former high school friends. Both Panthers, Aaron and Elmer Dixon talk about how receptive Hendrix was to the cause.
The programme culminates with Jimi's Woodstock Festival performance of 'The Star Spangled Banner', an eloquent (and wordless) statement against the Vietnam war. In retrospect, it can also be read as a swan song for the era of peace and love and for Hendrix himself, who died in his sleep the following year. Jimi Hendrix is more than a blues guitarist who got lucky in the 60s. He did the best he could to be his own man without openly taking sides, and we are still trying to get to know him 40 years after his death.
Producer: John Sugar
A Sugar production for BBC Radio 4.
MON 07:00 The Right Time (b0076mf5)
Series 4
Episode 3
Older bikers head to Margate - and trying out Roman orgies.
Sketch show about growing older disgracefully.
Stars Eleanor Bron, Dudley Sutton, Roger Blake and Paula Wilcox.
Written by Jill Brodie, John Pidgeon, Dave Dixon, Jan Etherington, Mike Haskins, Simon Littlefield, Alex Lowe, George Poles, Richard Preddy, Dudley Sutton, Alan Stafford, Chris Thompson and Pete Reynolds.
Script editor: George Poles.
Music by Ronnie & The Rex.
Producer: Katie Marsden
First broadcast on BBC Radio 4 in July 2004.
MON 07:30 The Museum of Curiosity (b070cz5y)
Series 8
Lucas, Scott, Hartston
Professor of Ignorance John Lloyd and his curator Sarah Millican welcome:
* Comedian Matt Lucas
* Neuroscientist Sophie Scott
* Goggleboxer and former British chess champion, William Hartson
Researchers: Anne Miller and Molly Oldfield of QI.
Producers: Richard Turner and James Harkin.
A BBC Radio Comedy production for BBC Radio 4 first broadcast in February 2016.
MON 08:00 Dad's Army (b007jqxp)
Series 3
High Finance
Captain Mainwaring realises Corporal Jones's money troubles involve the whole platoon.
Starring Arthur Lowe as Captain Mainwaring, John Le Mesurier as Sergeant Wilson, Clive Dunn as Corporal Jones, John Laurie as Private Frazer, Arnold Ridley as Private Godfrey, Ian Lavender as Private Pike, Bill Pertwee as Hodges, Frank Williams as the Vicar and Pearl Hackney as Mrs Pike.
Adapted for radio from Jimmy Perry and David Croft's TV scripts by Harold Snoad and Michael Knowles.
Producer: John Dyas
First broadcast on BBC Radio 4 in July 1976.
MON 08:30 Brothers in Law (b007js3q)
Series 2
1471
Both of barrister Roger Thursby's girlfriends, Sally and Joy attempt to get him some work.
Starring Richard Briers as Roger Thursby, John Glyn-Jones as Grimes, Julia Lockwood as Sally, Bridget Armstrong as Joy, Blake Butler as Alec and James Hayter as Tewksbury.
Other parts played by Garard Green and John Ruddock.
Written by Henry Cecil and Basil Dawson.
Published in 1955, Henry Cecil's comic legal novel Brothers in Law was adapted first for TV in 1962 by Frank Muir and Denis Norden. It provided the first regular starring role for Richard Briers, who later reprised his role of the idealistic young lawyer Roger Thursby for BBC Radio between 1970 and 1972.
Producer: David Hatch.
First broadcast on BBC Radio 4 in September 1971.
MON 09:00 The Write Stuff (b00dzbmv)
Series 8
Episode 3
James Walton takes the chair for the game of literary correctness, flanked by captains Sebastian Faulks and John Walsh with guests Harry Ritchie and Simon Brett. The author of the week and subject for pastiche is Philip Roth and the reader is Beth Chalmers.
MON 09:30 Tomorrow, Today! (b0178s5n)
Series 2
Prey of the Bog Monster
The show avoids censorship by becoming an outside broadcast.
Series two of Christopher William Hill's sitcom set in 1962. A BBC producer struggles to make a radio soap set in the unimaginably futuristic world of 2008.
Nigel Lavery ...... Peter Bowles
Sylvia Hann ...... Cheryl Campbell
Godfrey Winnard ..... John Fortune
Sir Angus McNairn ...... Gary Waldhorn
Hugo Kellerman ...... Joseph Kloska
Douglas Bennings ...... Jon Glover
Keith Wood ...... Sam Pamphilon
Veronica Walters ...... Johannah Tincey
Henderson ...... Ben Crowe.
Producer: Liz Webb
First broadcast on Radio 4 in February 2008.
MON 10:00 David Wade - Alexander (b007q9by)
Great Son of Ammon
The King confronts and conquers, as he faces the end of the span of years allotted by The Fates.
Starring Michael Maloney, Alex Jennings and Barry Foster.
Conclusion of David Wade's serial on the life of Alexander the Great
Alexander ...... Michael Maloney
Hephaistion ...... Alex Jennings
Achilles ...... Barry Foster
Patroclus ...... Simon Ward
Ptolemy ...... Julian Rhind-Tutt
Philotas ...... Michael Onslow
Perdikkas ...... Mark Straker
Bagoas ...... Matthew Sim
Artzbazus ...... Philip Anthony
Krateros David Thorpe
Simmias ...... John Evitts
Kalas ...... Malcolm Sinclair
Oxyartes ...... John Hollis
Kalanos ...... Renu Setna
Kallisthenes ...... Jonathan Adams
Page ...... James Telfer
The Fates ...... Rachel Atkins
The Fates ...... Jill Graham
The Fates ...... Dana Payan
Music: Wilfredo Acosta
Director: Glyn Dearman
First broadcast on BBC Radio 4 in August 1993.
MON 11:00 Under the Skin (b01c6s87)
Correspondence
Under the Skin is a celebration of the second ever South Asian Literature Festival, which was staged in London and across the United Kingdom in October. The relationship between the English language, its literary tradition and writers from South Asia has become an exciting and enduring part of British literary life.
The Festival celebrated writers from South Asia and British Asian writing, equally, reflecting the diversity of themes, subjects and literary forms that constitute South Asian writing in 2011.
Under the Skin features two original stories and one adapted from the collection Too Asian, Not Asian Enough which was published to coincide with the festival. NSR Khan's story Correspondence is a touching and witty account of a Pakistani father coming to terms with the life of his British Asian daughter.
Under the Skin starts with Deni Francis, Lyndam Gregory and Najma Khan reading a story in letters between a father and daughter.
Producer: David Roper
A Heavy Entertainment production for BBC Radio 4.
MON 11:15 Dave Sheasby - Apple Blossom Afternoon (b007jpjz)
Ted's down at the betting shop, just like every Saturday. But this one's a bit special; it's his 55th birthday.
He's not asking for much to celebrate - just a win on a dream accumulator bet - but will Apple Blossom oblige?
Dave Sheasby's drama stars Malcolm Hebden as Ted, Marlene Sidaway as Jane, Ray Ashcroft as Dave, Louis Emerick as Wesley, Colin Meredith as Povey, Philp Whitchurch as Billy and Christine Cox as the Tannoy.
Produced at BBC Manchester by Tony Cliff.
First broadcast on BBC Radio 4 in 1988.
MON 12:00 Dad's Army (b007jqxp)
[Repeat of broadcast at 08:00 today]
MON 12:30 Brothers in Law (b007js3q)
[Repeat of broadcast at 08:30 today]
MON 13:00 John Mortimer - Rumpole (b007jshh)
[Repeat of broadcast at 06:00 today]
MON 13:30 Star Spangled Hendrix (b00tg2m0)
[Repeat of broadcast at 06:30 today]
MON 14:00 Mary Wesley - The Camomile Lawn (b00801nd)
Episode 1
August 1939 – the last summer of peace before the Second World War.
Oliver, Calypso, Polly and Walter are on a holiday visit to their Aunt Helena and Uncle Richard Cuthbertson, and their 10-year-old cousin Sophy.
The house - with a fragrant lawn stretching down to the Cornish cliffs - is the link between the five cousins which neither the war nor adulthood can break.
Published in 1984, Mary Wesley novel abridged in ten-parts by Elizabeth Bradbury.
Read by Sian Phillips.
Producer: Tracey Neale
First broadcast on BBC Radio 4 in 1989.
MON 14:15 Incarnations: India in 50 Lives (b05xd506)
William Jones: Enlightenment Moghul
Professor Sunil Khilnani looks at the contribution Sir William Jones made to our understanding of Indian history and culture. Jones set sail for India at the end of the 18th century where he became one of the greatest advocates for studying the glories of India's past. Already a master of many languages, he learned Sanskrit which he declared "more perfect than the Greeks, more copious than the Latin and more exquisitely refined than either". He introduced a radical idea: that Sanskrit and Europe's classical languages were all tributaries of a single, lost linguistic river. Professor Khilnani describes Jones as "a man who arrived in India and studied its culture with humility and then sought to awaken the West to its riches. The irony is that he also awakened the East".
Produced by Mark Savage
Researcher: Manu Pillai
With a recital of an Indian composition on harpsichord, from the Oriental Miscellany by Jane Chapman.
Listeners can catch up with the series and see the list of remarkable Indians featured in the series on the Radio 4 website.
MON 14:30 The Kiss (b008y3kt)
Waterloo East
Short stories by Katie Hims with an osculatory theme.
1/5. Waterloo East
Dan breaks up with Jeanie on the platform of Waterloo East Station. She is heartbroken, but they have the best break-up kiss she has ever had. A year later they meet again and he wants her back. Jeanie knows how feckless he is, but she did love that kiss.
Jeanie ...... Claire Rushbrook
Dan ...... Lee Ross
Myrtle ...... Sheila Reid
Directed by Jessica Dromgoole.
MON 14:45 Book of the Week (b00y5dc3)
Colin Thubron - To a Mountain in Tibet
Episode 1
"By trekkers' standards our party is small and swift: a guide, a cook, a horse-man, myself. We move scattered above the river, while loan traders pass us the other way, leading their stocky horse and mule-trains between lonely villages. They look fierce and open, and laughingly meet your eyes. The delicacy of the plains has gone..."
Renowned travel writer Colin Thubron is about to climb Mount Kailis in Tibet, one of the holiest places in the world and hardly visited by westerners. Its slopes are rugged, glacial, and peopled by the toughest types alive. Its slopes are also full of stories: Hindu and Buddhist tales of struggle, devotion and intrigue. But on from these lower reaches, Kailis' s peak rises sacrosanct. Forbiddingly distant. And it is here that Thubron casts his gaze, then walks towards, as listeners can discover in his new account.
1. In the first of five episodes, abridged by Penny Leicester, the author begins his ascent of Mount Kailas with trusty guide and cook in tow. But what exactly lies ahead?, he asks himself.
Reader Stephen Boxer.
Producer Duncan Minshull.
MON 15:00 David Wade - Alexander (b007q9by)
[Repeat of broadcast at 10:00 today]
MON 16:00 The Write Stuff (b00dzbmv)
[Repeat of broadcast at 09:00 today]
MON 16:30 Tomorrow, Today! (b0178s5n)
[Repeat of broadcast at 09:30 today]
MON 17:00 The Right Time (b0076mf5)
[Repeat of broadcast at 07:00 today]
MON 17:30 The Museum of Curiosity (b070cz5y)
[Repeat of broadcast at 07:30 today]
MON 18:00 Wally K Daly (b007jv0y)
The Children of Witchwood
Episode 1
Jackie Lamont, a student at a local college, goes missing mysteriously. And when she reappears, just as mysteriously, she seems to have somehow been given special telepathic powers.
Meanwhile, the Cranford Family have guarded a secret for hundreds of years - and Jackie Lamont is a threat.
But BQ Brown of the Ministry of Defence is investigating a possible link between the burning of six children as witches in the 17th century and Jackie's disappearance.
Starring Wendy Baxter as Jackie Lamont, Emily Chennery as Mandy Lamont and Michael Cochrane as the Sergeant.
Director: Jenny Stephens.
A five- part story originally made for BBC7 in 2005.
MON 18:30 World Book Club (b070rvzp)
Irvine Welsh - Trainspotting
Irvine Welsh discusses his cult novel about drugs and violence, later filmed for the cinema. With Harriett Gilbert. From August 2007.
MON 19:00 Dad's Army (b007jqxp)
[Repeat of broadcast at 08:00 today]
MON 19:30 Brothers in Law (b007js3q)
[Repeat of broadcast at 08:30 today]
MON 20:00 John Mortimer - Rumpole (b007jshh)
[Repeat of broadcast at 06:00 today]
MON 20:30 Star Spangled Hendrix (b00tg2m0)
[Repeat of broadcast at 06:30 today]
MON 21:00 Under the Skin (b01c6s87)
[Repeat of broadcast at 11:00 today]
MON 21:15 Dave Sheasby - Apple Blossom Afternoon (b007jpjz)
[Repeat of broadcast at 11:15 today]
MON 22:00 The Museum of Curiosity (b070cz5y)
[Repeat of broadcast at 07:30 today]
MON 22:30 Fags, Mags and Bags (b010y376)
Series 4
John Craven's Fjällräven
More shop based shenanigans and over the counter philosophy, courtesy of Ramesh Mahju and his trusty sidekick Dave.
Written by and starring Donald McLeary and Sanjeev Kohli, Fags, Mags & Bags has proved a hit with the Radio 4 audience with this series picking up a Writers' Guild nomination for best comedy in 2011.
In this episode Dave and the boys are busily organising a surprise 50th birthday party for Ramesh, but will Sanjay manage to keep his trap closed long enough without spilling the beans before the big day.
So join the staff of Fags, Mags and Bags in their tireless quest to bring nice-price custard creams and cans of coke with Arabic writing on them to an ungrateful nation.
Ramesh Mahju has built up the business over the course of thirty years, and is a firmly entrenched feature of the local area. However, he does apply the "low return" rules of the shop to all other aspects of his life.
He is ably assisted by his shop sidekick Dave, a forty-something underachiever who shares Ramesh's love of the art of shopkeeping, even if he is treated like a slave.
Then of course there are Ramesh's sons, Sanjay and Alok, both surly and not particularly keen on the old school approach to shopkeeping. But they are natural successors to the business and Ramesh is keen to pass all his worldly wisdom onto them - whether they like it or not.
Cast:
Ramesh ..... Sanjeev Kohli
Dave ..... Donald Mcleary
Sanjay ..... Omar Raza
Alok ..... Susheel Kumar
Dr Southwell ..... Kevin Eldon
Mrs Begg ..... Marjory Hogarth
Mrs Armstrong ..... Maureen Carr
Lovely Sue ..... Julie Wilson Nimmo
Bra Jeff ..... Steven McNicol
Producer: Gus Beattie
A Comedy Unit production for BBC Radio 4.
MON 23:00 The News Quiz Extra (b070ryy3)
Series 16
Episode 6
A satirical review of the week's news chaired by Miles Jupp. Miles is joined by Jeremy Hardy, Susan Calman, Justin Moorhouse and Steve Lamacq.

The producer was Suzy Grant. News Quiz Extra is a BBC Radio Comedy production.
MON 23:45 Hamish and Dougal: You'll Have Had Your Tea (b007ynlv)
Series 1
The Murder Mystery
Hamish and Dougal set about solving the mystery of Mrs Naughtie's surprise disappearance and several unsavoury rumours about her past.
Barry Cryer and Graeme Garden star as the two elderly Scotsmen famed for their appearances on BBC Radio’s I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue.
With Alison Steadman as their cleaning-lady-cum-housekeeper, Mrs Naughtie.
And Jeremy Hardy as the local Laird.
Producer: Jon Naismith
First broadcast on BBC Radio 4 in December 2002.


TUESDAY 16 FEBRUARY 2016

TUE 00:00 Wally K Daly (b007jv0y)
[Repeat of broadcast at 18:00 on Monday]
TUE 00:30 World Book Club (b070rvzp)
[Repeat of broadcast at 18:30 on Monday]
TUE 01:00 John Mortimer - Rumpole (b007jshh)
[Repeat of broadcast at 06:00 on Monday]
TUE 01:30 Star Spangled Hendrix (b00tg2m0)
[Repeat of broadcast at 06:30 on Monday]
TUE 02:00 Mary Wesley - The Camomile Lawn (b00801nd)
[Repeat of broadcast at 14:00 on Monday]
TUE 02:15 Incarnations: India in 50 Lives (b05xd506)
[Repeat of broadcast at 14:15 on Monday]
TUE 02:30 The Kiss (b008y3kt)
[Repeat of broadcast at 14:30 on Monday]
TUE 02:45 Book of the Week (b00y5dc3)
[Repeat of broadcast at 14:45 on Monday]
TUE 03:00 David Wade - Alexander (b007q9by)
[Repeat of broadcast at 10:00 on Monday]
TUE 04:00 The Write Stuff (b00dzbmv)
[Repeat of broadcast at 09:00 on Monday]
TUE 04:30 Tomorrow, Today! (b0178s5n)
[Repeat of broadcast at 09:30 on Monday]
TUE 05:00 The Right Time (b0076mf5)
[Repeat of broadcast at 07:00 on Monday]
TUE 05:30 The Museum of Curiosity (b070cz5y)
[Repeat of broadcast at 07:30 on Monday]
TUE 06:00 John Mortimer - Rumpole (b007jsjb)
The Course of True Love
Rumpole muses on the case of a teacher accused of seduction.
"The Splendours And Miseries Of An Old Bailey Hack". Starring Maurice Denham as ageing London barrister-at-law Horace Rumpole.
With Denys Hawthorne as Judge George Frobisher and Michael Spice as Guthrie Featherstone.
Originally a TV series created by writer and barrister John Mortimer, Rumpole hit the BBC radio airwaves in 1980. Case-by-case, Rumpole recalls his work at the Central Criminal Court of England and Wales.
Director: Peter King
First broadcast on BBC Radio 4 in 1980.
TUE 06:30 The Seven Car Parks of Croydon (b00vk2fx)
Sue Perkins revisits her former hometown of Croydon to ask just how South London's 'Mini-Manhattan' became the butt of so many jokes, mocked by comedians from the great Morecambe and Wise to Basil Brush.

With a skyline made up of 60's brutalist office blocks and re-clad 80's ones, Croydon's aesthetics are hard to love, but whether you're heading to town from Gatwick Airport, commuting from the South Coast, or a new immigrant registering at the Home Office's Lunar House, Croydon is your welcome to London.
With a powerful sense of nostalgia tinged with panic, Sue, who's joined by fellow comedian Steve Punt, lurks on the stairwells and top storeys of seven car parks in Croydon, trying to get a new perspective on local planning decisions, past and present. She hears historic tales of Elizabeth the First and punk svengali Malcolm McLaren, Bridget Riley - Queen of OpArt - and the emergence of the hottest current urban music Dubstep.

Vincent Lacovara, fan of Croydon, and its current urban planner believes these concrete viewing platforms can provide a fresh vantage point from which the history and super-future of Croydon can be laid out before Sue - so that she can see all the possibilities it had to offer her, and which she missed growing up. The great architectural commentator Nikolaus Pevsner said Croydon's skyline was 'thrilling from a distance' but maybe that's the problem - up close it takes a trained or loving eye to appreciate the uniqueness of Croydon - and after all we can't all come from the Cotswolds.
The time has come to reassess the concrete dreams of the 1960's - and Sue is the woman to do it.
Producers Sara Jane Hall and Gillian Darlington.
First broadcast on Radio 4 in 2010.
TUE 07:00 A Short Gentleman (b0196rnd)
Episode 2
Robert woos Elizabeth, by means of a putty-coloured carpet.
Hugh Bonneville stars as Robert Purcell, QC, a perfect specimen of the British Establishment, who applies faultless legal logic to his disastrous personal life.
Jon Canter's comic novel 'A Short Gentleman' adapted by Robin Brooks.
Elizabeth ..... Lyndsey Marshal
Guy ..... Adam Billington
Sophie ..... Francine Chamberlain
Anthony ..... Carl Prekopp
Isabel ..... Lauren Mote
Alan ..... Gerard McDermott
Director: Jonquil Painting.
First broadcast on BBC Radio 4 in 2012.
TUE 07:30 Linda Smith's A Brief History of Timewasting (b007jvf7)
Series 1
The Carpet Sweeper
Buying a new carpet sweeper for her elderly neighbour Betty sparks a major operation for Linda.
The first of two comedy series written by and starring Linda Smith.
Linda takes on the mantle of the United Nations as she tries to broker a fragile peace between her morbid elderly neighbour Betty and her live-in builder Chris. In the strife-torn streets of East London, can bingo and musical theatre ever be reconciled?
Linda ...... Linda Smith
Chris ...... Chris Neill
Betty ...... Margaret John
Worra ...... Femi Elufowoju Jr
Other parts played by Jeremy Hardy and Martin Hyder.
Guest appearances from Rabbi Lionel Blue and Jenni Murray.
Producer: Lucy Armitage
First broadcast on BBC Radio 4 in July 2001.
TUE 08:00 Round the Horne (b00nth15)
Series 4
Episode 1
Kenneth Horne is a doctor who talks to animals, tune into wonderful Radio Balls Pond Road and Julian and Sandy troll west to The Lazy Bona Ranch.
With Kenneth Williams, Hugh Paddick and Betty Marsden.
Recorded at the BBC's Paris Studio in Lower Regent Street, London. Announcer: Douglas Smith
Round The Horne was born out of the demise of BBC radio comedy Beyond Our Ken, after the end of writer Eric Merriman's involvement. Using the same cast and producer, Barry Took and Marty Feldman were persuaded to write the scripts - which led to four series that ran between 1965 and 1968 - packed full of parodies, recurring characters, catchphrases and double-entendres.
Marty Feldman had moved on so series 4 is written by Barry Took with Brian Cooke & Johnnie Mortimer and Brian Webster
Music by the Max Harris Group.
Producer: John Simmonds
First broadcast on the BBC Radio 2 in February 1968.
TUE 08:30 The Men from the Ministry (b012n3rv)
Taking Leave of Their Census
The bungling bureaucrats are sent to Cornwall where some dodgy villagers are up to no good...
A weekly tribute to all those who work in government departments.
Stars Richard Murdoch and Deryck Guyler. With Norma Ronald, Ronald Baddiley and John Graham.
Written by Edward Taylor and John Graham.
'The Men from the Ministry' ran for 14 series between 1962 and 1977. Deryck Guyler replaced Wilfrid Hyde-White from 1966. Sadly many episodes didn't survive in the archive, however the BBC's Transcription Service re-recorded 14 shows in 1980 - never broadcast in the UK, until the arrival of BBC Radio 4 Extra.
Producer: Edward Taylor.
First broadcast on the BBC Radio 4 in August 1972.
TUE 09:00 The News Quiz Extra (b070ryy3)
[Repeat of broadcast at 23:00 on Monday]
TUE 09:45 Hamish and Dougal: You'll Have Had Your Tea (b007ynlv)
[Repeat of broadcast at 23:45 on Monday]
TUE 10:00 Jean de Coras - The True Story of Martin Guerre (b070stnx)
Episode 1
Martin Guerre lived in the Pyrenean village of Artigat and was charged with being an impostor on his return after an absence of eight years.
But the trial left many questions unanswered.
Guy Meredith's two-part dramatisation by from the trial notes of the 16th-century French judge, Jean de Coras.
Starring Sean Bean as Martin Guerre and Lesley Dunlop as his wife Bertrande.
Jean de Coras... Olivier Pierre
Sanxi Guerre... Alex Norton
Pierre Guerre... Andrew Melville
Andreu de Rols... John Church
Mme de Rols... Jill Graham
Priest... John Webb
Jean de Loze... Jonathan Adams
Jean d'Escorneboeuf... Keith Drinkel
Catherine Boeri... Siriol Jenkins
Other parts played by John Fleming, Steve Hodson, Geraldine Fitzgerald, Jo Kendall, Federay Holmes, Peter Penry Jones, Eric Allan and Peter Gunn. With Henry Power and Anna Abrahams as the children.
Director: Janet Whitaker
First broadcast on BBC Radio 4 in October 1992.
TUE 11:00 Under the Skin (b01cj384)
Another Life, by Resma Ruia
Under the Skin is a celebration of the second ever South Asian Literature Festival, which is staged in London and across the United Kingdom. The relationship between the English language, its literary tradition and writers from South Asia has become an exciting and enduring part of British literary life. The Festival celebrates writers from South Asia and British Asian writing, equally, reflecting the diversity of themes, subjects and literary forms that constitute South Asian writing in 2012.
Under the Skin features three stories by British Asian writers. Resma Ruia's Another Life focuses on the restlessness of an Asian businessman who visited Manchester as a young man on his way to America - but never left.
Lyndam Gregory, Deni Francis and Najma Khan are the readers.
Producer: David Roper
A Heavy Entertainment production for BBC Radio 4.
TUE 11:15 Caroline Gawn - Fresh from the Coast (b007jqxk)
1940s London: Two women uncover a devastating secret that changes their friendship for ever.
Elsie Haworth and Kathleen James are old school friends, working on the rebuilding of Waterloo Bridge. Elsie is heavily pregnant, but won't reveal the father's name to anyone.
A police inspector begins to follow the two women, asking probing questions about the mysterious father. The plot thickens and then thickens again...
Caroline Gawn's thriller stars Jo Joyner as Elsie, Christine Brennan as Kathleen, Mark Chatterton as the Police Inspector, Martin Reeve as Mr Jackson and Ken Bradshaw as Gerhard.
Director: Polly Thomas
First broadcast on BBC Radio 4 in 2001.
TUE 12:00 Round the Horne (b00nth15)
[Repeat of broadcast at 08:00 today]
TUE 12:30 The Men from the Ministry (b012n3rv)
[Repeat of broadcast at 08:30 today]
TUE 13:00 John Mortimer - Rumpole (b007jsjb)
[Repeat of broadcast at 06:00 today]
TUE 13:30 The Seven Car Parks of Croydon (b00vk2fx)
[Repeat of broadcast at 06:30 today]
TUE 14:00 Mary Wesley - The Camomile Lawn (b00803g6)
Episode 2
As the sirens sound for the Second World War, Monica has good reason to be worried.
A house - with a fragrant lawn stretching down to the Cornish cliffs - is the link between the five cousins which neither the war nor adulthood can break.
Published in 1984, Mary Wesley novel abridged in ten-parts by Elizabeth Bradbury.
Read by Sian Phillips.
Producer: Tracey Neale
First broadcast on BBC Radio 4 in 1989.
TUE 14:15 Incarnations: India in 50 Lives (b05xdcvk)
Rammohan Roy: Humanity in General
Prof. Sunil Khilnani profiles Rammohan Roy, the Bengali scholar and reformer who became a worldwide intellectual celebrity and campaigned against Sati, the suicide of widows on their husbands' funeral pyres.
Rammohan Roy was part of an international set of radicals and reformers attacking established religion and ruling despots in the early 19th century, including the East India Company. He urged Indians to judge their society and behaviour by universal values at the very moment these values were emerging in the Enlightenment West. "And ever since Roy," Sunil Khilnani says, "Indians have been part of the global argument about the nature of justice, rights and freedom"
He is best known for his advocacy for women and his opposition to Sati, the Hindu rite in which widows died on their husbands' funeral pyres. His campaign converged with the birth of an international concern with human rights.
With contributions from Nobel prize-winning economist Amartya Sen and from the late Prof. Christopher Bayly, Sunil Khilnani's examination of Rammohan Roy's life takes him from the Sati ghats of Calcutta to a quiet cemetery on the outskirts of Bristol, Roy's last resting place.
Producer: Jeremy Grange
Executive Producer: Martin Smith
Original Music composed by Talvin Singh.
TUE 14:30 The Kiss (b008x4rx)
The Advertiser
Short stories by Katie Hims with an osculatory theme.
2/5. The Advertiser
A 73-year-old woman sees an astonishingly beautiful kiss at Waterloo East and determines that she wants to kiss someone for the first time in her life. She places an advert in a national newspaper.
Myrtle ...... Sheila Reid
Gary ...... Jacob Krichefski
Brian/Albert ...... John Dougall
Directed by Jessica Dromgoole.
TUE 14:45 Book of the Week (b00yqn6v)
Colin Thubron - To a Mountain in Tibet
Episode 2
"By trekkers' standards our party is small and swift: a guide, a cook, a horse-man, myself. We move scattered above the river, while loan traders pass us the other way, leading their stocky horse and mule-trains between lonely villages. They look fierce and open, and laughingly meet your eyes. The delicacy of the plains has gone..."
Renowned travel writer Colin Thubron is about to climb Mount Kailis in Tibet, one of the holiest places in the world and hardly visited by westerners. Its slopes are rugged, glacial, and peopled by the toughest types alive. Its slopes are also full of stories: Hindu and Buddhist tales of struggle, devotion and intrigue. But on from these lower reaches, Kailis's peak rises sacrosanct. Forbiddingly distant. And it is here that Thubron casts his gaze, then walks towards, as listeners can discover in his new account.
2. During the ever rockier ascent of Kailas, the author with his guide and cook must enlist the help of Dhabu, who has horses to help the cause...
Read by Stephen Boxer.
TUE 15:00 Jean de Coras - The True Story of Martin Guerre (b070stnx)
[Repeat of broadcast at 10:00 today]
TUE 16:00 It's Your Round (b00yrfwr)
Series 1
Episode 2
Angus Deayton hosts the comedy panel show with no format.
Andy Parsons, Rebecca Front, Miles Jupp and prog-rock legend, Rick Wakeman battle it out to see who can beat each other at the games they've each brought along.
Can the teams guess the concept for Rick's new prog rock album in his "What's The Concept?" round? And what happens when the teams have to play Andy's inventively titled "It's Not Your Round"? And would Rebecca Front like to marry Prince William?
Angus tries valiantly to ensure everyone comes out of it with their reputations intact.
Writers: Angus Deayton, Ged Parsons and Paul Powell
Devised by Benjamin Partridge
Producer: Sam Michell.
First broadcast on BBC Radio 4 in February 2011.
TUE 16:30 Flying the Flag (b00b5r1h)
Series 2
Political Flu
The political climate in the People's Republic is milder than it used to be, but political sickness can still strike unexpectedly, and earthworm tables are not always the answer...
Alex Shearer's Eastern bloc embassy sitcom.
Starring Dinsdale Landen as HM Ambassador Mackenzie, Peter Acre as William Frost, Moir Leslie as Helen Waterson, Christopher Benjamin as Colonel Surikov, Peter Craze as Nesterov, Paul Gregory as Brodsky and Stephen Greif as the US Ambassador.
Producer: Pete Atkin
First broadcast on BBC Radio 4 in April 1988.
TUE 17:00 A Short Gentleman (b0196rnd)
[Repeat of broadcast at 07:00 today]
TUE 17:30 Linda Smith's A Brief History of Timewasting (b007jvf7)
[Repeat of broadcast at 07:30 today]
TUE 18:00 Wally K Daly (b007jv16)
The Children of Witchwood
Episode 2
Jackie Lamont has now, just as mysteriously, re-appeared. She seems to have somehow been given special telepathic powers.
TUE 18:30 The Palace of Laughter (b007svws)
Series 1
London Windmill
Geoffrey Wheeler visits the scene of the infamous Windmill Theatre in London.
Famed for its female nude tableaux, the Windmill was also known as the "comics' graveyard" - audiences being more interested in the girls than the gags.
Barry Cryer, Arthur English, Pearl Hackney and Eric Barker are among those recalling their Windmill days with a mixture of affection and horror.
Series featuring Variety theatres from all over the United Kingdom.
Producer: Libby Cross
First broadcast on BBC Radio 4 in March 2002.
TUE 19:00 Round the Horne (b00nth15)
[Repeat of broadcast at 08:00 today]
TUE 19:30 The Men from the Ministry (b012n3rv)
[Repeat of broadcast at 08:30 today]
TUE 20:00 John Mortimer - Rumpole (b007jsjb)
[Repeat of broadcast at 06:00 today]
TUE 20:30 The Seven Car Parks of Croydon (b00vk2fx)
[Repeat of broadcast at 06:30 today]
TUE 21:00 Under the Skin (b01cj384)
[Repeat of broadcast at 11:00 today]
TUE 21:15 Caroline Gawn - Fresh from the Coast (b007jqxk)
[Repeat of broadcast at 11:15 today]
TUE 22:00 Linda Smith's A Brief History of Timewasting (b007jvf7)
[Repeat of broadcast at 07:30 today]
TUE 22:30 Andrew Maxwell's Public Enemies (b03f8g6l)
Drugs Trade
The drugs trade is one of our few booming industries.
Andrew looks at the facts behind both the illegal and legal drugs. What are the risks? What are the problems? And what can we do about either?
Andrew Maxwell is one of the UK's most informed and fearless stand ups. In this series of one-off stand up shows, he uses his trademark intelligence and political incisiveness to dig behind the clichés and assumptions about four possible threats to British society: food, the internet, drugs and Nationalism.
This series showcases a comedian at the top of his abilities tackling difficult and important 'slow news' topics with a depth and perceptiveness that remains outside the remit of mainstream 'topical' comedy.
Written and performed by Andrew Maxwell.
Script edited by Paul Byrne.
Producer: Ed Morrish
First broadcast on BBC Radio 4 in October 2013.
TUE 23:00 Revolting People (b00wr9v4)
Series 4
Reunion
Samuel and company hit London, where McGurk has a family get-together. 1775 America sitcom starring Andy Hamilton. From May 2006.
TUE 23:30 Think the Unthinkable (b007k4p8)
Series 2
Blue Herring
The management consultants plug into media technology. Stars Emma Kennedy and Marcus Brigstocke. From November 2002.


WEDNESDAY 17 FEBRUARY 2016

WED 00:00 Wally K Daly (b007jv16)
[Repeat of broadcast at 18:00 on Tuesday]
WED 00:30 The Palace of Laughter (b007svws)
[Repeat of broadcast at 18:30 on Tuesday]
WED 01:00 John Mortimer - Rumpole (b007jsjb)
[Repeat of broadcast at 06:00 on Tuesday]
WED 01:30 The Seven Car Parks of Croydon (b00vk2fx)
[Repeat of broadcast at 06:30 on Tuesday]
WED 02:00 Mary Wesley - The Camomile Lawn (b00803g6)
[Repeat of broadcast at 14:00 on Tuesday]
WED 02:15 Incarnations: India in 50 Lives (b05xdcvk)
[Repeat of broadcast at 14:15 on Tuesday]
WED 02:30 The Kiss (b008x4rx)
[Repeat of broadcast at 14:30 on Tuesday]
WED 02:45 Book of the Week (b00yqn6v)
[Repeat of broadcast at 14:45 on Tuesday]
WED 03:00 Jean de Coras - The True Story of Martin Guerre (b070stnx)
[Repeat of broadcast at 10:00 on Tuesday]
WED 04:00 It's Your Round (b00yrfwr)
[Repeat of broadcast at 16:00 on Tuesday]
WED 04:30 Flying the Flag (b00b5r1h)
[Repeat of broadcast at 16:30 on Tuesday]
WED 05:00 A Short Gentleman (b0196rnd)
[Repeat of broadcast at 07:00 on Tuesday]
WED 05:30 Linda Smith's A Brief History of Timewasting (b007jvf7)
[Repeat of broadcast at 07:30 on Tuesday]
WED 06:00 John Mortimer - Rumpole (b007jsjp)
The Perils of the Sea
Rumpole recalls the case of murder. How did Barney Bateman die?
"The Splendours And Miseries Of An Old Bailey Hack". Starring Maurice Denham as ageing London barrister-at-law Horace Rumpoleand Margot Boyd as Hilda Rumpole.
With Norman Shelley as the Judge and Michael Spice as Guthrie Featherstone.
Originally a TV series created by writer and barrister John Mortimer, Rumpole hit the BBC radio airwaves in 1980. Case-by-case, Rumpole recalls his work at the Central Criminal Court of England and Wales.
Director: Ian Cotterell
First broadcast on BBC Radio 4 in 1980.
WED 06:30 Latch-Key Kids (b00sg1hf)
Actress Jessica Hynes a latch-key kid from the age of six hears the stories of others over the generations who too had to let themselves in to an empty house after school. How has this shaped and influenced the way she and others bring up their children?
The term "latch- key kid" came to prominence during the Second World War when children as young as five years old were being left as their Dads were away fighting and their mothers became part of the labour force. Sandra now a grandmother in her 70's, was along with her parents 'bombed out' of their home in Sheffield. They lost everything and her mum had to go out to work; throughout her entire school life Sandra was a latch--key kid. Later on in life when she too got married and had kids she made a secret pact - she was going to be around for her kids but in doing so what were the consequences?
Decades later the term became synonymous with neglect and was dropped but the practice continues to this day. John Amaechi defends rigorously his upbringing - having to be responsible and independent made him into who he is today - his success and they way he has raised his own family mirrors his own experience.
But 80's child Lizzie who became a delinquent teenager says she was "at times overlooked"....brought up on Pot Noodles and stale things she's opted for a different life for her two boys. Whose got it right ?
First broadcast on BBC Radio 4 in May 2010.
WED 07:00 Married (b0081vm4)
Series 1
Episode 2
Confirmed bachelor Robin Lightfoot is not happy. He's accidentally helpful to his new family. Surely he's not growing to like them?
With a new wife and kids, Robin learns more about his parallel universe.
Hugh Bonneville stars in Tony Bagley's comedy.
Robin ...... Hugh Bonneville
Lesley ...... Josie Lawrence
Julia ...... Barbara Murray
Dirk ...... Steve Frost
Ned ...... Sam Bradley
Maxine ...... Ann Gosling
Janet Ellis ...... Elaine
Psychotherapist ...... Simon Roberts
Big Kid ...... Jackson Leach
Nicholas Parsons ...... Himself
Producer Claire Jones
First broadcast on BBC Radio 4 in April 1999.
WED 07:30 Tim FitzHigham: The Gambler (b05qgm0y)
Series 2
Episode 3
Adventuring comedian Tim FitzHigham recreates a 19th-century bet.
Can he cook a pudding ten feet under water?
Producer: Joe Nunnery.
First broadcast on BBC Radio 4 in 2015.
WED 08:00 The Navy Lark (b01j0sf9)
Series 6
Troutbridge's Party
Peeved Pertwee is barred from a wardroom celebration for Admiral Sir Benjamin Troutbridge.

Stars Leslie Phillips as the Sub-Lieutenant, Jon Pertwee as the Chief Petty Officer, Stephen Murray as the Number One, Ronnie Barker as AS Johnson, Richard Caldicote as Captain Povey and Heather Chasen as Mrs Povey.

Laughs afloat aboard British Royal Navy frigate HMS Troutbridge. The Navy Lark ran for an impressive thirteen series between 1959 and 1976.

Scripted by Lawrie Wyman

Producer: Alastair Scott Johnston.

First broadcast on the BBC Light Programme in October 1963.
WED 08:30 I'm Sorry, I'll Read That Again (b007jqws)
Series 8
Episode 1
The BBC's "Plans for Broadcasting in the 70's" - and full frontal radio.
Starring Tim Brooke-Taylor, John Cleese, Graeme Garden, David Hatch, Jo Kendall and Bill Oddie.
Sketches written by Bill Oddie
Originating from the Cambridge University Footlights revue 'Cambridge Circus', ISIRTA ran for 8 years on BBC Radio and quickly developed a cult following.
Music and songs by Bill Oddie, Liam Cohen and Dave Lee.
Producer: David Hatch/Peter Titheradge
First broadcast on the BBC Radio 2 in February 1970.
WED 09:00 The Motion Show (b070wg2g)
Series 3
Episode 4
Debates galore over medicine and bringing back national service.
Graeme Garden chairs the quirky battle of words and wit.
With Hugh Dennis, Gyles Brandreth, Arthur Smith and Antony Worrall Thompson.
Producer: Helen Williams
First broadcast on BBC Radio 4 in August 2000
WED 09:30 The Party Line (b00sp1tv)
Series 1
Episode 2
MP Duncan welcomes a French delegation - will he end up with 'oeuf' on his face? Punt and Dennis's June 2005 topical sitcom.
WED 10:00 Jean de Coras - The True Story of Martin Guerre (b070wmg2)
Episode 2
Martin Guerre's wife, Bertrande, has accepted him on his return after eight years' absence and borne him two further children.
But then she accuses him of being an impostor...
Conclusion of Guy Meredith's dramatisation from the trial notes of the 16th-century French judge, Jean de Coras.
Starring Sean Bean as Martin Guerre and Lesley Dunlop as Bertrande.
Jean de Coras..... Olivier Pierre
Bertrande's Mother... Jill Graham
Pierre Guerre.... Andrew Melville
Sanglas.... Steve Hodson
Mme Sanglas.... Geraldine Fitzgerald
Francoise.... Jo Kendall
Carbon Barrau.... Peter Gunn
Guillem.... Eric Allan
Shepherd / Dominique Pujol... John Fleming
Magistrate .... Peter Penry Jones
Other parts played by Federay Holmes, John Church, Keith Drinkel, Jonathan Adams, John Webb and Siriol Jenkins.
Director: Janet Whitaker
First broadcast on BBC Radio 4 in October 1992.
WED 11:00 Under the Skin (b01cvdds)
Eyebrows, by Kavita Bhanot
Under the Skin is a celebration of the second ever South Asian Literature Festival, which is staged in London and across the United Kingdom.
The relationship between the English language, its literary tradition and writers from South Asia has become an exciting and enduring part of British literary life. The Festival celebrates writers from South Asia and British Asian writing, equally, reflecting the diversity of themes, subjects and literary forms that constitute South Asian writing in 2012.
Under the Skin features three stories by British Asian writers. Kavita Bhanot's Eyebrows introduces us to three generations of women seen through the eyes of Jaya on her weekend visits to her grandmother.
Lyndam Gregory, Deni Francis and Najma Khan are the readers.
Producer: David Roper
A Heavy Entertainment production for BBC Radio 4.
WED 11:15 Drama (b00s9g1y)
Mark Wheatley - So You Want to Disappear
By Mark Wheatley
Fraser once tracked clients who jumped bail. Then he added a little twist to the business by helping people disappear instead, which is why Kathryn gives him a call.
Kathryn ..... Lia Williams
Fraser ..... Neil Pearson
Ali ..... Tessa Nicholson
Mitch ..... Michael Shelford
Kyle ..... Miche Doherty
Producer: Eoin O'Callaghan.
WED 12:00 The Navy Lark (b01j0sf9)
[Repeat of broadcast at 08:00 today]
WED 12:30 I'm Sorry, I'll Read That Again (b007jqws)
[Repeat of broadcast at 08:30 today]
WED 13:00 John Mortimer - Rumpole (b007jsjp)
[Repeat of broadcast at 06:00 today]
WED 13:30 Latch-Key Kids (b00sg1hf)
[Repeat of broadcast at 06:30 today]
WED 14:00 Mary Wesley - The Camomile Lawn (b00804b2)
Episode 3
As Calypso weds wealthy Scotsman Hector Grant, the other cousins must move on.
A house - with a fragrant lawn stretching down to the Cornish cliffs - is the link between the five cousins which neither the war nor adulthood can break.
Published in 1984, Mary Wesley novel abridged in ten-parts by Elizabeth Bradbury.
Read by Sian Phillips.
Producer: Tracey Neale
First broadcast on BBC Radio 4 in 1989.
WED 14:15 Incarnations: India in 50 Lives (b05xgm2b)
Lakshmibai, Rani of Jhansi: Badass Queen
Prof. Sunil Khilnani explores the life of Lakshmibai, Rani of Jhansi, the queen who fought against the British and became a heroine of India's 1857 Rebellion.
"The Rani was certainly no ordinary queen," he says of the woman who was listed by Time magazine as one of its 'Top Ten Badass Wives'. A typical day for Lakshmibai involved weightlifting, wrestling and steeplechasing - all before breakfast. Yet, despite her physical prowess, she was a reluctant rebel. She was drawn into the uprising only when the British annexed Jhansi after her husband died. The legend goes that, when the Rani's fort was under siege from the British, she mounted her horse, her young son holding on tight behind her, and leapt to freedom from the ramparts.
The most iconic image of the Rani of Jhansi is at her last stand, in battle: again on horseback with her sword held high and the reins of her horse between her teeth. It's an image that evokes powerful Hindu goddesses like Kali and Durga. However, Sunil Khilnani argues that, by ascribing its heroines extra-human powers, supposedly to celebrate them, India is in fact denying the reality of women's experience.
Producer: Jeremy Grange
Executive Producer: Martin Smith
Original Music composed by Talvin Singh.
WED 14:30 The Kiss (b008x4s0)
The Kiss That Never Happened
Short stories by Katie Hims with an osculatory theme.
3/5. The Kiss That Never Happened
Ted has imagined kissing Liesl over several years, while she has dated, got engaged, married and become a mother. Now, when he thinks her marriage is in trouble, he feels closer than ever to the long-sought kiss.
Liesl ...... Kate Ashfield
Ted ...... Ben Crowe
Directed by Jessica Dromgoole.
WED 14:45 Book of the Week (b00yqsx4)
Colin Thubron - To a Mountain in Tibet
Episode 3
"By trekkers' standards our party is small and swift: a guide, a cook, a horse-man, myself. We move scattered above the river, while loan traders pass us the other way, leading their stocky horse and mule-trains between lonely villages. They look fierce and open, and laughingly meet your eyes. The delicacy of the plains has gone..."
Renowned travel writer Colin Thubron is about to climb Mount Kailas in Tibet, one of the holiest places in the world and hardly visited by westerners. Its slopes are rugged, glacial, and peopled by the toughest types alive. Its slopes are also full of stories: Hindu and Buddhist tales of struggle, devotion and intrigue. But on from these lower reaches, Kailas's peak rises sacrosanct. Forbiddingly distant. And it is here that Thubron casts his gaze, then walks towards, as listeners can discover in his new account.
3 Colin Thubron strides forth into majestic desolation and one early morning awakes face to face with a local beast. Meanwhile, Mt Kailas looms ever nearer for him...
WED 15:00 Jean de Coras - The True Story of Martin Guerre (b070wmg2)
[Repeat of broadcast at 10:00 today]
WED 16:00 The Motion Show (b070wg2g)
[Repeat of broadcast at 09:00 today]
WED 16:30 The Party Line (b00sp1tv)
[Repeat of broadcast at 09:30 today]
WED 17:00 Married (b0081vm4)
[Repeat of broadcast at 07:00 today]
WED 17:30 Tim FitzHigham: The Gambler (b05qgm0y)
[Repeat of broadcast at 07:30 today]
WED 18:00 Wally K Daly (b007jv1f)
The Children of Witchwood
Episode 3
The Cranford Family have a carefully guarded secret - their surviving descendants possess incredible supernatural powers.
WED 18:30 Off the Page (b0076zh0)
Bitching
Kathy Lette, Kate Figes and Tom Mitchelson join Dominic Arkwright to discuss the motives for bitching. From August 2006.
WED 19:00 The Navy Lark (b01j0sf9)
[Repeat of broadcast at 08:00 today]
WED 19:30 I'm Sorry, I'll Read That Again (b007jqws)
[Repeat of broadcast at 08:30 today]
WED 20:00 John Mortimer - Rumpole (b007jsjp)
[Repeat of broadcast at 06:00 today]
WED 20:30 Latch-Key Kids (b00sg1hf)
[Repeat of broadcast at 06:30 today]
WED 21:00 Under the Skin (b01cvdds)
[Repeat of broadcast at 11:00 today]
WED 21:15 Drama (b00s9g1y)
[Repeat of broadcast at 11:15 today]
WED 22:00 Tim FitzHigham: The Gambler (b05qgm0y)
[Repeat of broadcast at 07:30 today]
WED 22:30 Andrew Lawrence: How Did We End Up Like This? (b01nq7dj)
What We Wear
Andrew Lawrence continues his comic explanation of our development via stand up, sketch and song.
This time, Andrew discusses what we wear.
Sara Pascoe and Marek Larwood assist.
Producer: Jane Berthoud
First broadcast on BBC Radio 4 in November 2012.
WED 22:55 The Comedy Club Interviews (b071xnmj)
The best in contemporary comedy. Tiff Stevenson is joined by Abandoman.
WED 23:00 In and Out of the Kitchen (b01q8l39)
Series 2
Valentine's Day
Tradition in the Trench/MacIlveny household dictates that Valentine's Day is the one day of the year when Damien is not allowed in the kitchen and Anthony can be left alone to cook a special meal to celebrate the occasion... much to Damien's chagrin.
Meanwhile, Damien struggles to finish the links to a new series for Sky Arts all about the dietary habits of the great poets. And his dad has an unfortunate accident whilst walking the dog...
Written by Miles Jupp.
Damien Trench ...... Miles Jupp
Anthony MacIlveny ...... Justin Edwards
Damien's Mother ...... Selina Cadell
Builder ...... Ben Crowe
Mr Mullaney ...... Brendan Dempsey
Marion Duffett ...... Lesley Vickerage
Producer: Sam Michell
First broadcast on BBC Radio 4 in January 2013.
WED 23:30 And Now in Colour (b007wqf1)
Series 1
Salisbury Plain
The sketch show team take their audience on Territorial Army manoeuvres – and a surprise Book at Bedtime.
Precision comedy written and performed by Tim Firth, Tim de Jongh, Michael Rutger and William Vandyck.
Producer: Lissa Evans
First broadcast on BBC Radio 4 in April 1990


THURSDAY 18 FEBRUARY 2016

THU 00:00 Wally K Daly (b007jv1f)
[Repeat of broadcast at 18:00 on Wednesday]
THU 00:30 Off the Page (b0076zh0)
[Repeat of broadcast at 18:30 on Wednesday]
THU 01:00 John Mortimer - Rumpole (b007jsjp)
[Repeat of broadcast at 06:00 on Wednesday]
THU 01:30 Latch-Key Kids (b00sg1hf)
[Repeat of broadcast at 06:30 on Wednesday]
THU 02:00 Mary Wesley - The Camomile Lawn (b00804b2)
[Repeat of broadcast at 14:00 on Wednesday]
THU 02:15 Incarnations: India in 50 Lives (b05xgm2b)
[Repeat of broadcast at 14:15 on Wednesday]
THU 02:30 The Kiss (b008x4s0)
[Repeat of broadcast at 14:30 on Wednesday]
THU 02:45 Book of the Week (b00yqsx4)
[Repeat of broadcast at 14:45 on Wednesday]
THU 03:00 Jean de Coras - The True Story of Martin Guerre (b070wmg2)
[Repeat of broadcast at 10:00 on Wednesday]
THU 04:00 The Motion Show (b070wg2g)
[Repeat of broadcast at 09:00 on Wednesday]
THU 04:30 The Party Line (b00sp1tv)
[Repeat of broadcast at 09:30 on Wednesday]
THU 05:00 Married (b0081vm4)
[Repeat of broadcast at 07:00 on Wednesday]
THU 05:30 Tim FitzHigham: The Gambler (b05qgm0y)
[Repeat of broadcast at 07:30 on Wednesday]
THU 06:00 John Mortimer - Rumpole (b007jsk0)
The Age of Retirement
Rumpole reconsiders his future - as does a hardened thief.
"The Splendours And Miseries Of An Old Bailey Hack". Starring Maurice Denham as ageing London barrister-at-law Horace Rumpole and Margot Boyd as Hilda Rumpole
With Robert Harris as Mr Justice Vosper and Brian Carroll as Erskine-Brown.
Originally a TV series created by writer and barrister John Mortimer, Rumpole hit the BBC radio airwaves in 1980. Case-by-case, Rumpole recalls his work at the Central Criminal Court of England and Wales.
Director: Ian Cotterell
First broadcast on BBC Radio 4 in 1980.
THU 06:30 Settling the Score (b00lbgqq)
Tim Blackmore examines the complex relationship between composer and commissioner and asks if having boundaries set on the creative process is a help or a hindrance.
The programme follows the progress of writing a new musical, Feather Boy, by film composer Debbie Wiseman. She has been commissioned by the National Theatre to write for this musical which will performed in 'workshop' style in July. Her commissioner is the director Anthony Banks.
THU 07:00 PG Wodehouse (b00b7b0p)
What Ho! Jeeves: Joy in the Morning
Steeple Bumpleigh
Forced into a meeting he's been trying to avoid at the cottage, Bertie Wooster gets a warning.
PG Wodehouse's romp starring Michael Hordern and Richard Briers.
Adapted by Chris Miller.
Jeeves ...... Michael Hordern
Bertie Wooster ..... Richard Briers
Stilton Cheesewright ..... Michael Kilgarriff
Boko Fittleworth ..... Jonathan Cecil
Edwin the Boy Scout ..... Denise Bryer
Producer: Simon Brett
First broadcast on BBC Radio 4 in 1978.
THU 07:30 John Finnemore's Souvenir Programme (b06zv3x5)
Series 5
Episode 6
John Finnemore - writer and star of Cabin Pressure and John Finnemore's Double Acts, regular guest on The Now Show and The Unbelievable Truth - concludes the fifth series of his multi-award-winning sketch show, joined as ever by a cast of Margaret Cabourn-Smith, Simon Kane, Lawry Lewin and Carrie Quinlan.
This final episode of the series finds John apologising for a delay, and wondering what his hobbies are. And, well, since you ask him for a tale of national mourning and robots...
"One of the most consistently funny sketch shows for quite some time" - The Guardian
"The best sketch show in years, on television or radio" - The Radio Times
"The inventive sketch show ... continues to deliver the goods" - The Daily Mail
"Superior comedy" - The Observer
Written by and starring ... John Finnemore
Original music composed by ... Susannah Pearse
Original music performed by ... Susannah Pearse & Sally Stares
Producer: Ed Morrish
A BBC Radio Comedy production first broadcast on BBC Radio 4 in February 2016.
THU 08:00 Steptoe and Son (b007jnfd)
Series 5
Men of Letters
Albert butts in on Harold's church magazine article.
Starring Wilfrid Brambell as Albert and Harry H Corbett as Harold. With Anthony Sharp as the Vicar.
Following the conclusion of their hugely successful association with Tony Hancock, writers Ray Galton and Alan Simpson wrote 10 pilots for the BBC TV's Comedy Playhouse in 1962. The Offer was set in a house with a yard full of junk, featuring the lives of rag and bone men Albert Steptoe and his son Harold and it was the spark for a run of 8 series for TV.
Written for TV and adapted for radio by Ray Galton and Alan Simpson.
Produced by Bobby Jaye
First broadcast on the BBC Radio 2 in June 1974.
THU 08:30 Radio Active (b008gdb7)
Series 3
Probe Round the Back
Radio Active's regular analysis programme, Probe, takes a look behind-the-scenes at Britain's first national local radio station
Starring :
Helen Atkinson-Wood
Angus Deayton
Geoffrey Perkins
Philip Pope
Michael Fenton-Stevens
Written by Angus Deayton and Geoffrey Perkins. With Jon Canter, Moray Hunter and John Docherty.
Producer: Jamie Rix
First broadcast on BBC Radio 4 in July 1983.
THU 09:00 The Food Quiz (b070wpnt)
Series 1
Episode 2
On Jay Rayner's menu are Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall, Jill Dupleix, Clement Freud and Marguerite Patten. From September 2003.
THU 09:30 The Senses (b070wpnw)
Sight
A sleepy Cornish village provides the fodder for a self-appointed one-man Moral Watch Committee, until a mysterious film crew arrives....
Starring Ernest Clark
George ...... Ernest Clarke
Spargo ...... Donald Gee
Phoebe ...... Rebecca Saire
Littlejohn ...... Rory McGrath
Lancing ...... Paul Shearer
Mrs Menhennet ...... Hilda Braid
Theo ...... Geoffrey Matthews
Denzil ...... Bob Sinfield
Senses is a six-part comedy drama boasting a stellar list of star names, including Joan Sims, Charles Gray, Alex Jennings, Sylvestra Le Touzel, Geoffrey Palmer, Lynda Bellingham, Brian Murphy, Rodney Bewes, Liz Fraser, Rory McGrath and Maurice Denham.
As writer Bob Sinfield explains: "The six half-hour plays dealt respectively with the five obvious senses plus the er... other one".
Producer: David Tylerl
First broadcast on the BBC Radio 4 in January 1990.
THU 10:00 Joseph Conrad - The Secret Agent (b00770cw)
Episode 1
When a terrorist bomb explodes in London killing the bomber, all levels of the establishment, and every anarchist circle feels threatened.
Written in 1907, Joseph Conrad's prescient black comedy takes a wry look at the shabby truth behind the news.
Dramatised in two parts by David Napthine.
Chief Inspector Heat ...... Ron Cook
Assistant Commissioner ...... Robert Glenister
Adolf Verloc ...... David Calder
Winnie Verloc ...... Wendy Nottingham
Tom Ossipon ...... Paul Bazeley
The Professor ...... Robin Soans
Vladimir ...... Hugh Ross
Sir Ethelred ...... Geoffrey Beevers
Toodles ...... Joseph Kloska
George ...... Paul Richard Biggin
Waiter ...... Saikat Ahamed
Director: Jessica Dromgoole
First broadcast on BBC Radio 4 in October 2006.
THU 11:00 Deep Country (b01b8xcb)
Episode 1
Neil Ansell is in search of solitude. He takes up home in a dilapidated cottage in a very remote part of the Welsh countryside, on his own, with no electricity, gas or water. He has only wildlife around him for company as he makes the cottage habitable. Read by Matthew Gravelle.
Abridged by Willa King
Directed by Emma Bodger
A BBC Cymru Wales Production.
THU 11:15 Matthew Dunster - Depth of Field (b007636p)
18-year-old Michael is obsessed with crisps and heavy metal group Nirvana. He also has a mild form of autism known as Asperger syndrome.
Matthew Dunster's drama explores how Michael copes with unexpected events in his life, like his best friend Jilly's pregnancy - and family deceit.
Stars Lee Ingleby as Michael, Elizabeth Spriggs as Grandma, Marsha Thomason as Jilly, Nicky Evans as Stuart, Barbara Marten as Irene, Russell Dixon as David and Robert Pickavance as Jack.
With our thanks to the National Autistic Society.
Directed at BBC Manchester by Pauline Harris.
First broadcast on BBC Radio 4 in 2001.
THU 12:00 Steptoe and Son (b007jnfd)
[Repeat of broadcast at 08:00 today]
THU 12:30 Radio Active (b008gdb7)
[Repeat of broadcast at 08:30 today]
THU 13:00 John Mortimer - Rumpole (b007jsk0)
[Repeat of broadcast at 06:00 today]
THU 13:30 Settling the Score (b00lbgqq)
[Repeat of broadcast at 06:30 today]
THU 14:00 Mary Wesley - The Camomile Lawn (b00805nd)
Episode 4
The cousins' relationships blossom in London, but the Second World War starts to take its toll.
A house - with a fragrant lawn stretching down to the Cornish cliffs - is the link between the five cousins which neither the war nor adulthood can break.
Published in 1984, Mary Wesley novel abridged in ten-parts by Elizabeth Bradbury.
Read by Sian Phillips.
Producer: Tracey Neale
First broadcast on BBC Radio 4 in 1989.
THU 14:15 Incarnations: India in 50 Lives (b05xhww3)
Jyotirao Phule: The Open Well
A portrait of the social reformer and anti-caste campaigner. Professor Sunil Khilnani, from the India Institute, King's College London, visits Pune where Jyotirao Phule set out to educate women and promote the cause of the lower-caste members of Indian society. Phule and his wife were castigated for challenging the caste system. In a defiantly symbolic act, he allowed all comers to drink from the well at his house, in an age when members of the lower castes were barred from drinking water used by the upper castes. Today there are many government funding schemes for schools which bear either Phule's or his wife's name but discrimination against the Dalits, then known as Untouchables, hasn't gone away. "Phule wanted to rock the system," says Professor Khilnani "not just to create tiny islands of equality".
Produced by Mark Savage
Researcher: Manu Pillai
Listeners can catch up with the series and see the list of remarkable Indians featured in the series on the Radio 4 website.
THU 14:30 The Kiss (b008x4s3)
The Accident
Short stories by Katie Hims with an osculatory theme.
4/5. The Accident
When Sean dies in an accident, his father Ray kisses him for the first time and is shocked by how cold his skin is. Ray begins to kiss everything, from photographs and soft toys to geckos, walls and windows.
Ray ...... Harry Towb
Barbara ...... Susan Porrett
Ted ...... Ben Crowe
Directed by Jessica Dromgoole.
THU 14:45 Book of the Week (b00yqy5w)
Colin Thubron - To a Mountain in Tibet
Episode 4
"By trekkers' standards our party is small and swift: a guide, a cook, a horse-man, myself. We move scattered above the river, while loan traders pass us the other way, leading their stocky horse and mule-trains between lonely villages. They look fierce and open, and laughingly meet your eyes. The delicacy of the plains has gone..."
Renowned travel writer Colin Thubron is about to climb Mount Kailas in Tibet, one of the holiest places in the world and hardly visited by westerners. Its slopes are rugged, glacial, and peopled by the toughest types alive. Its slopes are also full of stories: Hindu and Buddhist tales of struggle, devotion and intrigue. But on from these lower reaches, Kailas's peak rises sacrosanct. Forbiddingly distant. And it is here that Thubron casts his gaze, then walks towards, as listeners can discover in his new account.
4. Few westerners make it to Mount Kailas and its majestic lakes.Then the author hears about the remarkable explorer Sven Hedin and his adventures thereabouts in 1907...
Reader Stephen Boxer.
THU 15:00 Joseph Conrad - The Secret Agent (b00770cw)
[Repeat of broadcast at 10:00 today]
THU 16:00 The Food Quiz (b070wpnt)
[Repeat of broadcast at 09:00 today]
THU 16:30 The Senses (b070wpnw)
[Repeat of broadcast at 09:30 today]
THU 17:00 PG Wodehouse (b00b7b0p)
[Repeat of broadcast at 07:00 today]
THU 17:30 John Finnemore's Souvenir Programme (b06zv3x5)
[Repeat of broadcast at 07:30 today]
THU 18:00 Wally K Daly (b007jv1m)
The Children of Witchwood
Episode 4
Is there a connection between the six children that were burnt as witches in the 17th century and Jackie Lamont's disappearance?
THU 18:30 Great Lives (b0076y4d)
Series 9
Ella Fitzgerald
The entrepreneur Ivan Massow chooses the singer, Ella Fitzgerald. With Matthew Parris and singer Dame Cleo Laine. From May 2006.
THU 19:00 Steptoe and Son (b007jnfd)
[Repeat of broadcast at 08:00 today]
THU 19:30 Radio Active (b008gdb7)
[Repeat of broadcast at 08:30 today]
THU 20:00 John Mortimer - Rumpole (b007jsk0)
[Repeat of broadcast at 06:00 today]
THU 20:30 Settling the Score (b00lbgqq)
[Repeat of broadcast at 06:30 today]
THU 21:00 Deep Country (b01b8xcb)
[Repeat of broadcast at 11:00 today]
THU 21:15 Matthew Dunster - Depth of Field (b007636p)
[Repeat of broadcast at 11:15 today]
THU 22:00 John Finnemore's Souvenir Programme (b06zv3x5)
[Repeat of broadcast at 07:30 today]
THU 22:30 Newsjack (b070wqp9)
Series 14
Episode 2
This week's stories lovingly bashed, mashed and moulded into sketches, one-liners and vox-pops by the public. Trying to make sense of it all is our host, Nish Kumar.

Nish is joined this week by Jason Forbes, Freya Parker and Ellie White.

The producers were Suzy Grant, Paul Sheehan and Matt Stronge. The script editors were Ed Amsden and Tom Coles.

Newsjack is a BBC Radio Comedy production.
THU 22:55 The Comedy Club Interviews (b071xnnx)
The best in contemporary comedy. Tiff Stevenson is joined by Abandoman.
THU 23:00 Believe It! (b01hjtm8)
Series 1
Rivals
Believe it!
Celebrity autobiographies are everywhere. Richard Wilson has always said he'd never write one.
Based on glimmers of truth, Believe It is the hilarious, bizarre, revealing (and, most importantly, untrue) celebrity radiography of Richard Wilson.
He narrates the series, weaving in and out of dramatised scenes from his fictional life-story. He plays a heavily exaggerated version of himself: a Scots actor and national treasure, unmarried, private, passionate about politics, theatre and Manchester United (all true), who's a confidant of the powerful and has survived childhood poverty, a drunken father, years of fruitless grind, too much success, monstrosity, addiction, charity work, secret work for governments and fierce rivalry with Sean Connery (not true).
All the melodramatic staples of celebrity-autobiography are wonderfully undercut by Richard's deadpan delivery.
(The title - in case you hadn't spotted - is an unashamed reference to his famous catchphrase.)
Richard is supported by a small core cast:
David Tennant
John Sessions
Lewis Macleod
Arabella Weir
and Jane Slavin
who play anyone and everyone!
Ghost written by Jon Canter
Produced by: Clive Brill
A Pacificus Production for BBC Radio 4.
THU 23:30 The Consultants (b007k3f3)
Series 1
Episode 4
The team wonder why so many men went to 'mow a meadow'. With Neil Edmond, Justin Edwards and James Rawlings. From March 2003.
THU 23:45 World of Pub (b008qt08)
Series 1
Episode 4
For the Queen's visit, dodgy Phil books her beloved Chas and Dave. But can they make it? Stars John Thomson. From March 1998.


FRIDAY 19 FEBRUARY 2016

FRI 00:00 Wally K Daly (b007jv1m)
[Repeat of broadcast at 18:00 on Thursday]
FRI 00:30 Great Lives (b0076y4d)
[Repeat of broadcast at 18:30 on Thursday]
FRI 01:00 John Mortimer - Rumpole (b007jsk0)
[Repeat of broadcast at 06:00 on Thursday]
FRI 01:30 Settling the Score (b00lbgqq)
[Repeat of broadcast at 06:30 on Thursday]
FRI 02:00 Mary Wesley - The Camomile Lawn (b00805nd)
[Repeat of broadcast at 14:00 on Thursday]
FRI 02:15 Incarnations: India in 50 Lives (b05xhww3)
[Repeat of broadcast at 14:15 on Thursday]
FRI 02:30 The Kiss (b008x4s3)
[Repeat of broadcast at 14:30 on Thursday]
FRI 02:45 Book of the Week (b00yqy5w)
[Repeat of broadcast at 14:45 on Thursday]
FRI 03:00 Joseph Conrad - The Secret Agent (b00770cw)
[Repeat of broadcast at 10:00 on Thursday]
FRI 04:00 The Food Quiz (b070wpnt)
[Repeat of broadcast at 09:00 on Thursday]
FRI 04:30 The Senses (b070wpnw)
[Repeat of broadcast at 09:30 on Thursday]
FRI 05:00 PG Wodehouse (b00b7b0p)
[Repeat of broadcast at 07:00 on Thursday]
FRI 05:30 John Finnemore's Souvenir Programme (b06zv3x5)
[Repeat of broadcast at 07:30 on Thursday]
FRI 06:00 Andrew Sachs - The Revenge (b007jr11)
Que? Andrew Sachs's pioneering thriller featuring sound effects and 11 actors, but no written dialogue.
This experimental play for radio an attempt to tell a story in terms of sounds alone. There is no dialogue, and no coherent speech, yet the play is a thriller with a straightforward storyline full of action and dramatic tension.
Recorded on location using the naturalistic recording techniques of binaural stereo.
Written and interpreted by Andrew Sachs, The Revenge, was the world's first radio drama without words...
With Andrew Sachs, Sean Barrett, Fraser Kerr, Graham Ashley, Paul Rosebury, Michael Deacon, Blain Fairman, John Rye, Melody Sachs, Frances Jeater and Leonard Fenton.
Producer: Glyn Dearman
First broadcast on BBC Radio 4 in 1978.
FRI 06:30 The Deighton File (b00kjh8g)
From the start of his writing career in 1962, Len Deighton has gifted his readers the Harry Palmer spy stories, including The Ipcress File, his compelling accounts of Second World War combat in Fighter and Blitzkrieg, and his experience in the kitchen with the Action Cook Book. Now 80, in this rare interview from 2009, he talks to Patrick Humphries about his life and work.
FRI 07:00 Dry Slopes (b070ws38)
Series 2
Tick Tock
Angus is nearly 30 but hasn't achieved any of his ambitions. Not even the one about moving to Lowestoft.
What terrible end will be revealed by the Ghost of Birthdays Yet to Come?
And even more worrying, has his mother really forgotten to buy him a present?
Written by and starring Nick Ball.
Angus ...... Nick Ball
Mum ...... Mum
With Robert Hartley, Wayne Forester and Julie Gibbs.
Producer: Gareth Edwards
First broadcast on BBC Radio 4 in July 1997.
FRI 07:30 So Wrong It's Right (b01jxrtw)
Series 3
Episode 6
Presented by Charlie Brooker, So Wrong It's Right is a competitive game of wrongness where coming up with terrible ideas is the right thing to do.
Over a series of rounds, Charlie asks his guests to trawl through their lives for comic calmites and to pitch inappropriate ideas.
In this episode - the last in the current series - the guests joining him to try and out-wrong each other are comedians Susan Calman and Rob Beckett and Pointless star Richard Osman.
The panel's worst experience as a teenager is just one of the challenges in this edition. Will anyone better Richard Osman's confession that he performed a rap version of the Easter story in front his entire school?
The host of So Wrong It's Right, Charlie Brooker, also presents BBC2's How TV Ruined Your Life, Channel 4's You Have Been Watching and 10 O'Clock Live, and writes for The Guardian. He won Columnist of the Year at the 2009 British Press Awards and Best Newcomer at the British Comedy Awards 2009.
Produced by Aled Evans
A Zeppotron Production for BBC Radio 4.
FRI 08:00 Hancock's Half Hour (b009h7l4)
Series 6
Fred's Pie Stall
The Lad Himself is out to save one of Cheam's institutions that's threatened by a council closure.
Starring Tony Hancock.
With Sidney James, Bill Kerr, Wilfred Babbage, Hugh Morton and Harry Towb.
Written by Ray Galton and Alan Simpson.
Theme and incidental music written by Wally Stott.
Producer: Tom Ronald
First broadcast on the BBC Light Programme in November 1959.
FRI 08:30 The Goon Show (b007jt5g)
Series 6
The Great Tuscan Salami Scandal
A meaty mystery for Neddie Seagoon, unaccompanied by the show's regular musicians who were on strike.
Groundbreaking, surreal BBC radio comedy written by Spike Milligan.
Starring:
Peter Sellers
Harry Secombe
Spike Milligan
First billed as Crazy People, ten series of The Goon Show were recorded between 1951 and 1960, but sadly many of the earliest shows weren’t kept in the archive.
Announcer: Wallace Greenslade
Producer: Peter Eton
First broadcast on the BBC Home Service in February 1956.
FRI 09:00 Wildbrain (b070ws3b)
1997 - Heat 2
Lionel Kelleway visits the Liverpool Museum, to chair the BBC Natural History Unit's quiz in which contestants test their wildlife knowledge.
FRI 09:30 Albert and Me (b04b6dbs)
Series 2
High Society
Single dad Bryan attends a garden fete and impresses the guest of honour.
Stars Robert Lindsay and Pat Coombs.
The struggles of single parent Bryan Archer to find work while raising his baby son, Albert.
Bryan Archer …. Robert Lindsay
Mum/Albert ...... Pat Coombs
Mrs Willis …. Diana King
Vera …. Marica Warren
Edward …. Gorden Kaye
Lady Samantha ...... Sarah Berger
Vicar ...... Michael Bilton
Written by Jim Eldridge.
Incidental music by Max Harris.
Producer: John Fawcett Wilson
First broadcast on BBC Radio 2 in April 1983.
FRI 10:00 Joseph Conrad - The Secret Agent (b00770h8)
Episode 2
After a terrorist bomb explodes in London killing the bomber, all levels of the establishment, and every anarchist circle feels threatened.
But what began as an international outrage quickly resolves into a domestic tragedy.
Conclusion of Joseph Conrad's prescient black comedy taking a wry look at the shabby truth behind the news.
Chief Inspector Heat ...... Ron Cook
Assistant Commissioner ...... Robert Glenister
Adolf Verloc ...... David Calder
Winnie Verloc ...... Wendy Nottingham
Tom Ossipon ...... Paul Bazeley
The Professor ...... Robin Soans
Vladimir ...... Hugh Ross
Sir Ethelred ...... Geoffrey Beevers
Great Lady ...... Jillie Meers
Toodles ...... Joseph Kloska
Stevie ...... Paul Richard Biggin
Waiter ...... Saikat Ahamed
Dramatised by David Napthine.
Director: Jessica Dromgoole
First broadcast on BBC Radio 4 in 2006.
FRI 11:00 Deep Country (b01bkhjl)
Episode 2
Neil Ansell is living in a very remote part of the Welsh countryside, on his own, with no electricity, gas or water, and only the wildlife around him for company. The winters are particularly hard, but he revels in the isolation and tranquillity. Read by Matthew Gravelle.
Abridged by Willa King
Directed by Emma Bodger
A BBC Cymru Wales Production.
FRI 11:15 Pilgrim by Sebastian Baczkiewicz (b00fl5n4)
Series 1
He Who Would Valiant Be
By Sebastian Baczkiewicz.
Paul Hilton stars as the reluctant and unthanked hero protecting mankind from an enemy they resist believing in.
Pilgrim is summoned to help retrieve an egg stolen from the Lady Ursula - a huge, powerful dragon. The egg has been stolen by the outlaw Faerie, Puck, who has holed up in a house in a small town on the outskirts of Birmingham. Puck has recruited a bunch of feral 'estate lads' to his army. Indeed, he has bewitched the whole town. Pilgrim must retrieve the egg before Ursula can exact a terrible retribution.
Directed by Marc Beeby.
FRI 12:00 Hancock's Half Hour (b009h7l4)
[Repeat of broadcast at 08:00 today]
FRI 12:30 The Goon Show (b007jt5g)
[Repeat of broadcast at 08:30 today]
FRI 13:00 Andrew Sachs - The Revenge (b007jr11)
[Repeat of broadcast at 06:00 today]
FRI 13:30 The Deighton File (b00kjh8g)
[Repeat of broadcast at 06:30 today]
FRI 14:00 Mary Wesley - The Camomile Lawn (b00807gp)
Episode 5
Helena leaves her lover to help Richard. A gun shot causes a commotion.
A house - with a fragrant lawn stretching down to the Cornish cliffs - is the link between the five cousins which neither the war nor adulthood can break.
Published in 1984, Mary Wesley novel abridged in ten parts by Elizabeth Bradbury.
Read by Sian Phillips.
Producer: Tracey Neale
First broadcast on BBC Radio 4 in 1989.
FRI 14:15 Incarnations: India in 50 Lives (b05xqbm8)
Birsa Munda: Have You Been to Chalkad?
Prof. Sunil Khilnani profiles Birsa Munda, the young, charismatic healer who led his tribal community in revolt against the British and whose life, more than a century after his death, poses the question: 'Who owns India?'
Scattered across the subcontinent, India's tribal peoples or Adivasis, match in size the populations of Germany or Vietnam. Yet the land rights of India's original inhabitants are regularly overridden in the name of development. One of history's great defenders of Adivasi rights was Birsa Munda, born in the late 19th century in what is now the north-eastern state of Jharkhand. At a time of famine and disease across northern India his community looked to the Birsa for healing and leadership. The young man who claimed he could turn bullets to water led a rebellion against the British, their Indian middlemen and Christian missionaries.
The question 'Who owns India' takes Sunil Khilnani to a tribal community who are losing their land and access to food, fuel and water with the growing encroachment of luxury housing complexes - second homes for city dwellers. We also hear from author and political activist Arundhati Roy. "The fact that Adivasis still exist," she says, "is because people like Birsa Munda staged the beginnings of the battle against the takeover of their homeland.
Though he died at the age of just 25, Birsa Munda has become a lasting symbol of tribal resistance. He's the only Adivasi whose portrait hangs in the Indian Parliament. "His was a firework of a life," says Sunil Khilnani, "but a life whose embers still burn".
Producer: Jeremy Grange
Executive Producer: Martin Smith
Original Music composed by Talvin Singh.
FRI 14:30 The Kiss (b008x4s6)
Jacob Lennon
Short stories by Katie Hims with an osculatory theme.
5/5. Jacob Lennon
Everyone at school is in love with Jacob Lennon. Andrea and Sophie imagine that kissing him must be like eating melted marshmallows. Then Andrea finds out the truth.
Andrea ...... Sophie Pemberton
Sophie ...... Laura Molyneux
Jacob ...... Lloyd Thomas
Milton ...... Baxter Willis
Mr Chester ...... Alex Lanipekun
Directed by Jessica Dromgoole.
FRI 14:45 Book of the Week (b00yrg1l)
Colin Thubron - To a Mountain in Tibet
Episode 5
"By trekkers' standards our party is small and swift: a guide, a cook, a horse-man, myself. We move scattered above the river, while loan traders pass us the other way, leading their stocky horse and mule-trains between lonely villages. They look fierce and open, and laughingly meet your eyes. The delicacy of the plains has gone..."
Renowned travel writer Colin Thubron is about to climb Mount Kailas in Tibet, one of the holiest places in the world and hardly visited by westerners. Its slopes are rugged, glacial, and peopled by the toughest types alive. It'Its slopes are also full of stories: Hindu and Buddhist tales of struggle, devotion and intrigue. But on from these lower reaches, Kailas's peak rises sacrosanct. Forbiddingly distant. And it is here that Thubron casts his gaze, then walks towards, as listeners can discover in his new account.
5.Near the top of Mt Kailas, the air thins, the pilgrims cluster, and there is a cry of 'victory to the gods'...
Read by Stephen Boxer.
FRI 15:00 Joseph Conrad - The Secret Agent (b00770h8)
[Repeat of broadcast at 10:00 today]
FRI 16:00 Wildbrain (b070ws3b)
[Repeat of broadcast at 09:00 today]
FRI 16:30 Albert and Me (b04b6dbs)
[Repeat of broadcast at 09:30 today]
FRI 17:00 Dry Slopes (b070ws38)
[Repeat of broadcast at 07:00 today]
FRI 17:30 So Wrong It's Right (b01jxrtw)
[Repeat of broadcast at 07:30 today]
FRI 18:00 Wally K Daly (b007jv1s)
The Children of Witchwood
Episode 5
Jackie's extraordinary telepathic powers attract the evil attentions of the eerie Cranford family.
FRI 18:30 Soul Music (b0076x76)
Series 5
Clair de lune
An exploration of Claude Debussy's music for piano, which was inspired by a poem about moonlight.
Featuring:
Sioned Williams (Harpist)
Heather Couper
Richard Langham-Smith
Erica Duggan
Elodie Lauten
Phil Cool
Philippe Cassard
Series about music that makes the hairs stand up on the back of our necks.
Producer: Karen Gregor
First broadcast on BBC Radio 4 in February 2006.
FRI 19:00 Hancock's Half Hour (b009h7l4)
[Repeat of broadcast at 08:00 today]
FRI 19:30 The Goon Show (b007jt5g)
[Repeat of broadcast at 08:30 today]
FRI 20:00 Andrew Sachs - The Revenge (b007jr11)
[Repeat of broadcast at 06:00 today]
FRI 20:30 The Deighton File (b00kjh8g)
[Repeat of broadcast at 06:30 today]
FRI 21:00 Deep Country (b01bkhjl)
[Repeat of broadcast at 11:00 today]
FRI 21:15 Pilgrim by Sebastian Baczkiewicz (b00fl5n4)
[Repeat of broadcast at 11:15 today]
FRI 22:00 So Wrong It's Right (b01jxrtw)
[Repeat of broadcast at 07:30 today]
FRI 22:30 Absolute Power (b007zmrm)
Series 3
Episode 4
Martin has a sporting challenge, but can Charles save a disgraced minister?
Stephen Fry and John Bird star in Mark Tavener's biting satire.
Charles Prentiss and Martin McCabe are spin masters in the world of government and media relations.
Charles Prentiss …. Stephen Fry
Martin McCabe …. John Bird
Sir Archibald Sullivan …. Tony Gardner
Clive …. Tom George
Sandy …. Siobhan Hayes
Johannes Pollard …. Chris Pavlo
Maurice …. David Timson
With Beth Chalmers
Producer: Dawn Ellis
First broadcast on BBC Radio 4 in January 2002.
FRI 22:55 The Comedy Club Interviews (b071xntq)
The best in contemporary comedy. Arthur Smith is joined by Matt Forde.
FRI 23:00 Meet David Sedaris (b03m3nty)
Series 4
Episode 4
One of the world's funniest storytellers is back on BBC Radio 4 doing what he does best.
This week, the pros and cons of being grown up enough to have a guest room in "Company Man", and some more extracts from his hilarious diary, which he has kept nightly for over 30 years.
Producer: Steve Doherty
A Giddy Goat production for BBC Radio 4.
FRI 23:30 Goodness Gracious Me (b01p4sgr)
Series 3
Episode 3
The Kapoors tee off on the golf course, and the Delhi students take a train trip to Southend-on-Sea.
Starring:
Sanjeev Bhaskar
Kulvinder Ghir
Meera Syal
Nina Wadia
Gold Winner of the Sony Radio Academy Awards. The sketch comedy show originally ran on BBC Radio 4 from 1996 to 1998, later transferring to TV on BBC TWO from 1998 to 2001.
Written by Richard Pinto, Sharat Sardana, Meera Syal, Sanjeev Bhaskar and Sanjeev Kohli.
Script Editors: Sharat Sardana and Richard Pinto
Producer: Anil Gupta.
First broadcast on BBC Radio 4 in June 1998.